Holidaze

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Arizona's POV:

I could see Callie wanted to talk, but I was shocked when she actually wanted to talk with me so freely. Normally, I've always needed to pull things out of her, because of her stoic and stubborn nature. I could tell by the way she acted today, however, that something was troubling her.

"So...? What did you want to talk about?" I asked, as Callie moved closer to me on the couch. My upper right thigh was now being pressed into her opposite thigh. I know I should have moved away, but in that instance, I found myself wanting our bodies touching. 

I'd been confused since our kiss in the treehouse a few days ago. I am in love with Renee and living with her. How could I be having these thoughts and feelings about Callie, again? Having my parents and Sophia around this week had provided a good distraction for me. I was too busy looking after them, so I didn't have much time to think about Callie.

Callie cleared her throat, as she inhaled a deep breath and started speaking. "I'm just going come right out and say it." Callie put her hand on top of my hand, we both turned our heads and started staring into one another's eyes. 

"What do you want to say, Calliope?....."

Renee walked in the room, as my sentence trailed off. I can only imagine how guilty we both looked, as we let go of our hands and quickly created some space between our bodies in less than a second.

"Am I interrupting something?" Renee was trying to be funny and play off what she just saw. I knew her sarcasm all, too well at this point though. She was trying to get us to explain our behavior. I was fumbling to say anything, when thank goodness Callie spoke up.

"Arizona was just reassuring me about my decisions I need to make in the upcoming weeks. I was asking her how both of you would feel about Soph and I moving back to Seattle?"

"Really, Callie? You guys are going to move back?! I think that would be amazing to have you both here!" Renee genuinely looked excited to hear the 'news.' 

All I could do was smile and nod at this point, like some kind of brainless, bobble head doll. The guilt I was feeling rendered me incapable to speak until a couple minutes had passed.

"Calliope, whatever you decide," I finally found my voice again, "We are here to help you anyway we can."

"Ditto!" Renee said, as she handed Callie her glass of red wine and me a glass of white.

"I'm glad to hear that, because if I do make the decision to move back, I'm going to need help from you both to take care of Sophia, while I find a place to live." Callie paused to take a sip of her wine.

Renee had walked back into the kitchen to grab her glass of white.

"Where are you going to stay, if Sophia stays with us?" I asked Callie as she gave me her, 'I Dunno,' look.

Renee had walked back in the room again and sat down on my left side. 

"I'll probably find someone's couch to crash on, until I can find a place." Callie replied to me.

"No, you're not." Renee spoke up. "You're going to stay with us until you figure out where you want to live. This house has plenty of space for Sophia and you. Right, Arizona?"

"Of course!" I was trying to sound upbeat and cheerful, even though I knew the potential problems that could arise if all of us lived together.

"Thanks you guys, that means so much to me to know I have a place to stay, if I decide to leave NY and Penny."

"Have you made up your mind about what you are going to do?" I asked Callie, as we tried not to stare into one another's eyes. I was afraid if Renee saw me look at Callie, she would realize the underlying feelings we were both having at that moment.

"My plan is to take your advice Arizona, and give my relationship with Penny another chance. You were correct for saying I haven't been putting in enough effort with Penny. So, I've decided that I need to step up my game. If things work, then I'll go from there. At the very least, I am going to ask the Surgery Chief at Lower Manhattan Presbyterian, to give me the same deadline as Dr. Webber gave me regarding the Ortho Chief position at Grey Sloan."

It was like someone stabbed me in the heart, when I heard Callie was giving Penny another chance. I was doing my best to conceal my hurt and jealousy about Penny from both women sitting next to me, but it was starting to make me wonder...

What's wrong with me? I've been happy in my committed relationship the last half of this year with Renee. Why have I suddenly gone back to feeling like this about Callie's relationship with Penny? 

I thought I had moved past those emotions around the time when Callie moved.

"So, when do you need to decide, Callie?" Renee asked.

"If they give me more time at Manhattan Presbyterian, I'll have few more weeks to figure everything out."

"I hope everything works out the way you want it to, Callie." Renee had reached over me and patted Callie on the back. "Can I get anyone some more wine?" Renee had already gotten up and was headed to the kitchen.

"Sure," Callie and I said at the same time. Renee grabbed our glasses and disappeared down the hallway and into the kitchen.

"Say something, say anything, Arizona. You've gotten quiet since I said I was going to work on my relationship with Penny. Do you think I'm doing the right thing? Do you think I should move back? What do you want me to do?"

"Well, Callie, I think you should do what you feel is right. If you think giving your relationship another chance is the right thing, I think you are doing the right thing." 

"Gee, that couldn't have been more vague and noncommittal of an answer." Callie was giving me her big grin as she leaned closer to me. "Will you still talk to me if I end up staying in NY?"

"Of course I will, Callie. Nothing will change that going forward. Now that you've been back in my life this last week, I wouldn't have it any other way. And truth be told, I think you should follow your amazing heart. It won't lead you astray."

Renee came back in with wine glasses clanking. "Hey Ladies, I was in the kitchen just thinking... wouldn't it be fun for Sophia if Callie and Penny joined us for Christmas too, Arizona? We will have Sophia that week and it struck me just now, we could celebrate the holiday together."

Trying to refrain from giving my, 'Um, No!,' expression, I smiled and nodded and said, "Yes!" 

Why am I so eager to please people? Great, a holiday with my ex-wife and her girlfriend. How fun, I thought, sarcastically to myself. . .



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