Chapter 86

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I opened the door into Blake and I's suite slowly, and I kept holding in the tears that were threatening to spill. I closed the door slowly behind me, and took a deep breath, not thinking Blake was home.

"Hey, baby," I heard from the couch and I saw Blake looking over at me. I sent a soft smile his way before taking off my shoes and jacket. I was taking deep breaths. "You okay?" I nodded slowly.

"Uh, yes," I muttered to him, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear nervously. "I'm just gonna, um, go take a shower and then I'll... join you on the couch."

"O...kay," Blake said, his voice full of concern. I nodded promptly and then moved through the hall and into the bathroom. I grabbed my sweats and underwear from the counter and slammed the door shut. I took a deep breath and slid down the door. I turned on the fan and the shower, so Blake couldn't hear me crying. My mascara was beginning to smear as some tears escaped. I took off my street clothes, and threw them into the floor, hoping that I could shed my feelings, just like I shed my clothes. But, no, they were still there. I loved Blake. I love Blake. I stepped into the shower, and let the hot water run down my face and through my hair. I sat down in the tub, and buried my face in my hands and cried my eyes out. My back shuddered as the tears kept coming and my body kept heaving no matter how hard I tried to stop. I heard and saw the curtains shift, as I saw Blake looking down at me.

"Are you okay, baby?" He asked me, his brown eyes full of concern. Blake loved me, and I was sure. Blake cared about me and I was sure. Why was I doing this when I had the best man that has ever walked into my life standing right in front of me? I ignored Blake and continued to cry, turning off the water, and sniffling.

"I-I'm fine," I muttered, pushing him towards the door. I moved out of the tub, and onto the mat. "Go... Go back out into the living room and I will meet you there." Blake's eyes looked into mine, full of concern. I felt bad turning him away, but right now I just needed some privacy. Blake opened the door and left, looking at me one more time, before disappearing. I dried myself off a little, and wrapped up my hair. I put on my thong, sweats and moved out of the bathroom. I turned off the light, as the steam rose into the bedroom. I tried to wipe off as much mascara as I could from my face, before moving out into the living room. I flopped onto the couch, lying my head on Blake's chest.

"Russell is on SNL tonight, we should watch," Blake muttered, changing the channel. I narrowed my eyes at Blake when he said that. "Well, him and I are friends now, so, I thought I should support my friend."

"You and Russell are friends now?" I asked him, my stomach dipping.

"Yes," Blake answered, waiting for SNL to start. My heart started increasing and I took a deep breath. Not good. Not good at all. The show started and Blake brought me closer to him, and draped my leg over his. He kissed my forehead and I grimaced. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes," I answered, far too quickly, "I'm just having one of those days."

"Everyday seems to be one of those 'days', lately," Blake commented negatively.

"Well, it's pretty hard to have a good day when you find out you are pregnant, kill your baby, and your fiancée ignores you while doing it," I commented, rolling my eyes.

"Are you sure that's all you've been upset about?" Blake asked me as if the comment I just made didn't faze him at all. I know deep down it did. Blake knew me. He always has. Everyday he seemed to know more. And he knew something was up.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I said, adding a soft smile, sitting up. Blake sat up as well, kicking his legs up on the coffee table, as I laid my head on Blake's chest. He was so warm, and he brought me close. Jimmy Fallon came out onto the live stage, and was talking about some stuff that I tuned out. I felt Blake's heartbeat as my head lied on his chest. I took a deep, calming breath and fell harder into his chest. Blake rubbed my hair, which calmed me from today's adventures. Russell came out onto the stage and I smiled at the sight of him. Then my smile faded. The memories from just an hour ago came flooding back. He sure looked great and had cleaned up nice.

"You're tired, aren't you?" Blake asked and I nodded against his chest. Blake seemed to enjoy the interview, as every minute felt like an hour. My eyes were getting heavy as I fought to keep them open.

"So... What has happened between you and your girlfriend, Nina?" Fallon asked Russell.

"I broke up with her kind of," Russell answered. I hated how he was kind of open about much. But it would get out anyways.

"Why?" Fallon pried.

"I told her I loved someone else," Russell answered honestly. Every bone and muscle in my body tensed. He did not just say that on live national television. I took a sharp breath, and Blake laughed a little under his breath.

"Girl after girl, that guy is... Wow," Blake said, taking a sharp breath.

"Yeah, he is... wow," I said under my breath.

"Sorry, friends don't say that." I felt like a deer in headlights. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't anything. I realized I had been holding my breath and I let it go, taking another sharp one. I rose up from Blake's arms and sat up straight, setting my head in my hands.

"So, who is the lucky lady? A new girl we haven't met?" I heard the question ring in my ears.

"No, you know her," Russell answered. There was a pause. It felt as though the whole world was crashing down right in front of me. This was it. "Morgan, Morgan Rowland. My best friend, I am in love with her." The words rang out in my head, as I rose my head up to see Blake's brown eyes glaring at me. I could practically see the anger coming out of his ears. I opened my mouth to speak, but I couldn't find words, he shook his head at me, and he put his head in his hands. Oh, Morgan, what did you do?

Who here feels like they have no idea what they are doing?•

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