All We've Got Is Basketball (Blake Griffin FanFic)

Chapter 110

So sorry loves that it's super short!

"Sometimes, Morgan, people leave," my therapist, Kevin, told me, scribbling something into his notebook. "But I think you're more than familiar with that." I nodded at what he said, agreeing I was. He was right and although it sucked, I was still here, and that had to count for something. "Morgan, think of it this way. If your parents were to have kept you... been great parents, given you the peachiest of childhoods, do you think you would be half as strong as the person you are now?" I tossed that question around in my head, although I knew the evident answer.

"No," I answered honestly. I was strong, I didn't need people to tell me that, I knew it.

"Perhaps Blake walked out of your life for a reason," his words hurt at first, feeling the pang of hurt mixed with truth in my heart, but he was right. "This is all a plan. Maybe this is just supposed to make you stronger. And maybe through all this, you'll meet somebody new." I didn't like the thought of meeting someone else. Of moving on. But the more I worried myself sick with it, the more I talked about it, the more I realized that I could do it. I could live without Blake no matter how much it hurt. And it would hurt. But the chances were, I would have to live without Blake or I would end up ripping my heart out of my chest from all the pain. The second option I didn't really enjoy, and it wasn't even an option. "I know you don't want to think about--" I raised my hand to stop what Kevin was saying, and he sunk in his seat after I did this. "We can just sit in silence," he suggested.

"It's just hard for me to accept it, you know?" I asked him, clearing my throat and nodding. I rested my hands in my lap in a comfortable position. I was trying so hard to show through body language that I was comfortable, that I was more than okay, I was even convincing myself that maybe I was. Maybe I was going to be okay. "But I think I'm coming to an acceptance. It's been a week, you know, and I've come to an understanding that Blake might be back, but even then, I am moving on. Without him. It's just hard to lose someone who's become like you're other half." Kevin scribbled something else into his notebook, before closing it and taking a deep breath. Our hour was done.

"That was good today, you opened up more. We need to dig deeper," he commented, clearing his throat, and rifling through his hair. "You're a very reserved person..." He trailed off for a second and I could see he was debating something in his head. "When are we going to talk about your cutting, exactly?" I inhaled sharply at this question and averted my gaze almost immediately from his. I didn't know he knew that about me. I opened my mouth to say something, but ended up snapping it shut, I had no words. I even had a hard time telling Blake about that. I remember that day, when Maya told him about my past, it was the day I got high. The day that he gave me a bath and I almost fought Maya. I remember that day a little too clearly. I could tell I was moving on, because I would do nothing to go back to that day. I was getting happier here, in this moment. I didn't want to think back when Blake left me and to that night. That had to be one of the darkest moments of my life. "Morgan, my job is to read people. I knew it just from your actions. It's blatantly obvious." I stared into his eyes for a few moments before grabbing my purse off the back of the chair and making an exit through the door. The door slammed shut behind me as I walked through the whole building speedily, and went straight into the cool, late April LA air. I had this constant nagging in the pit of my stomach and I felt like I was going to be sick. I drove home as fast as I could possible.

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I ran for the front door once I parked my car, but I didn't even make it inside. I vomited behind the azalea bush in the front yard. My insides clenched as nothing was coming up, I was just dry heaving. And almost instantly that dry heaving turned into crying. For it wasn't Blake I was crying over, but the vivid memories we shared together.

• you'll never get over it. But you'll get to the point where it doesn't bother you as much•