All We've Got Is Basketball (Blake Griffin FanFic)

Chapter 45

"Are you sure you're okay?" Amber asked me, and I shrugged, running my hands over my face. Amber rubbed her hand up and down my back to comfort me. "Do you want to come stay with me?" I shook my head.

"I'll be okay, he'll come back. I was the one who made a mistake, I'm the one that's being punished. It's okay, I deserve it." I nodded, keeping my head in my hands, my gaze away from Amber.

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself," Amber warned, standing up. I knew she had to be somewhere and I didn't want to stop her. I shook my head and smiled at her, standing up and giving her a hug.

"I won't." I responded. Both Chris and DJ had texted me reassuringly.

"I love you," Amber reminded me and I smiled to her, sitting back down on the couch. "I know DJ is coming over soon so I'll get out of here, I'll see you." I waved to her as she let herself out and I lied down on the couch.

No longer than thirty minutes after she left, Chris and DJ came in. I sat up and waited for them to make their way into the living room.

"Hey," DJ and Chris said in unison. "I'm so sorry, Morgan..." DJ began, but I held up my hand to stop him.

"Have either of you heard from him? I just wanna know he's okay." I said and Chris looked to DJ and nodded.

"He wouldn't tell us where he is, but he's safe. He just needs to think." I nodded and sat back down onto the couch. "Are you okay?" Chris asked and I shrugged putting my head into my hands. Both of them sat down next to me on the couch. "For the record, I don't think what you did was that bad." I looked up to him, and stared blankly.

"You don't have to be okay with what I did," I said, putting my head back into my hands. "I'm not." Chris sighed and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay..." He began but I stopped him.

"What would you do if Jada became pregnant and she didn't tell you and killed the baby, what would you think?" I questioned.

"Well, when you say it like that..." DJ said, trailing off.

"I said it the way it's meant to be. The way it actually is." I stated, and slumped even lower in my seat.

"Are you gonna be okay?" DJ asked and I shrugged.

"I think I just need rest." I said, trying to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes. But yet again, the wave of exhaustion ran over me. "You guys are my family and I'll be okay. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to." DJ smiled, quickly, and pat my knee. Both of them stood up and walked towards the door, me walking them out.

"Are you sure you're okay with us leaving tomorrow?" Chris asked, one more time before they left. I nodded and leaned against the door.

"Russell is coming tomorrow, I'll be fine." Both of them nodded, gave me quick hugs and then left. I would miss them, but I missed blake. In this huge house all alone, of course with Cody and Chaney, but... alone. I was so hurt, so upset and so... desolate. It didn't feel right. My life was supposed to be going in the right direction. There was so much pain built up in a small amount of time. It felt as if it was bottled up inside me and I couldn't get all the pain out. All that... pain. Disappointment. Fear? I walked into the kitchen and did the only thing that was natural. When I was depressed or in pain. What I did all those years when I was a teenager. When I wished I could get away from home. My parents. The people I called my family. I got the knife. The people that were so called "close" to me. When everyone turned their backs, that's what I needed to feel. The pain I was feeling on the inside, I needed to let out and feel on the outside. When the only thing I could turn to was basketball. I slid the blade over my wrist. I immediately felt the pain, not against my skin but inside. I felt... relieved. I knew it wasn't good to feel this way, so powerful, so addicted, but I couldn't help it. All I saw was myself sitting in my bedroom as a teenage girl, sliding the blade over my wrist. That didn't take away the real heart break I was feeling. That didn't help at all. I just had to face the facts.
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The facts were Blake was gone.

I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. This was an interesting one to write.🌸