All We've Got Is Basketball (Blake Griffin FanFic)

Chapter 109

"He'll be back, Morgan, I promise you," Chris muttered to me. Chris had been doing better, but he still hasn't been discharged and probably wouldn't be for another week or so. His rehab was doing good, but the only thing he cared about besides Jada, was getting back on the court. But of course, the NBA and fans showed nothing but love. "Has he gotten all of his stuff yet? All of his stuff is still at the house?"

"Yeah... Yeah it is," Chris seemed to notice I was distant, and was talking low. I wasn't how I normally was.

"He's going to come back," Chris reassured me again with a smile. Chris tried desperately to cheer me up, but he had no such luck. Nothing could cheer me up or make me not feel shitty, except Blake. "And in your defense he was being a shitty boyfriend. He has been. It's all over the tabloids." I shrugged.

"I haven't even looked at them lately," I muttered, shaking my head and brushing some strands of hair from my face. "I'm too scared to read the horrible things that they're putting in there. About him... about me, our relationship... ex... relationship." My voice cracked. I tore my eyes away from Chris's and looked into the bright hospital lights, biting my lower lip. We both sat in silence for a couple minutes for me to get myself together. What was I doing? "Is it kind of shitty for me to say I'd rather go through what you went through, with the accident, then to go through this? Cause God this... this fucking sucks. It feels like I want to rip my heart out of my fucking chest it hurts so damn bad. And all I do is cry. And cry. And cry. All day." There was a quiver in my voice as I tried to hold back the tears. I swallowed hard and tried to swallow the large lump in my throat, as I wouldn't look at Chris. The only place there was pain was in my heart. Everything else was just numb. I took a deep breath and ran my palms over my jeans. Chris grabbed my hand and brought it on the bed, as he wrapped his hand around mine. I couldn't help but wonder where DJ was with our food from Chick Fil A. Chris hadn't had outside food in a while.

"Whether you believe it or not," Chris began taking a deep breath. "I went through the same thing you did. Heartbreak. I would rather go through this," he waved around at the hospital room and his bed and the IV, "Then to have another heartbreak. Because it hurt so bad. But you know what? You got me through it. You helped me. I'm going to be here for you. You never get over pain, you just make room for it. Know that. Whether I'm here for another two hours or for decades. But also, know this, Blake will be back. But I know that Blake is not the only thing bothering you. What else is it?" I sometimes hated having best friends, people that know you. They could read you like a book. Whenever something was wrong, they always seemed to know. Girls tended to be more intuitive to that, but two people who were always good at that was Chris and Matt.

"Russell said he was stupid to chase a girl like me," I recalled the events from earlier this evening.

"A girl like you?" Chris asked, raising his eyebrows.

"A whore," I clarified. "He called me a whore and stormed out. He's not answering my texts or my calls. He's mad because we were kissing... and I stopped and told him I couldn't do it. I couldn't. Whatever I do... without Blake there, it feels wrong. I realized the worst thing of all today, I don't love Russell... I don't. I love the attention he gives me. But I truly, in my heart, love Blake Austin Griffin." Chris smiled at this and squeezed my hand tighter.

"I knew you didn't love Russell, here's the Morgan I've been waiting for," Chris beamed, pride in his voice. "It's always the biggest thing for people to realize the difference between loving someone, and loving their attention. Time heals all wounds. Sometimes if you just wait and stop chasing, it gives time for the right things to come to you." I gave Chris a small smile and looked down to my feet, trying to hide my smile.

"Gosh, I've missed you," I said, he squeezed my hand again. "I can't even tell you what I would do if you..."

"If I died," Chris finished for me. Both of our smiles faded at the mere thought of it. What would I be doing right now if he wasn't here by my side, holding my hand? I don't know if I could've taken it.

A tear shed out my left eye, but I brushed it away quickly. My emotions tended to get the best of me more often then not. "Please don't cry," Chris told me, a smile on his face, although I could see the tears brimming under his eyes. "Because if you cry I'm going to cry." I laughed at this, and sat back down in the chair next to his bedside.

"To be honest... If you died, that would've been the end of me," I admitted, the smile still on my face. I didn't know why I was smiling at this. The thought of what would have happened if I took those pills that night in the hospital.

"I heard about that," Chris said, "about you... almost taking those pills." I didn't know Chris knew about that. Blake must have told him, or DJ. No, probably Blake. "Blake loves you, Morgan. I think that kind of shook him up."

I shook my head, "That was dumb... I shouldn't have even thought about that."

"You need help, Morgan, please get some help," Chris pleaded. I sighed and took a deep breath, as I smiled to Chris.

"I actually called a therapist this morning and my first appointment was today. I have another tomorrow," I admitted, nodding. For once in my life, I thought I was doing something right. And it felt good. Chris sighed with relief as a smile spewed onto his face.

"Oh, Morgan," Chris commented, putting his hand on his heart, as he couldn't stop smiling. "This is great. I'm so proud of you. I'm praying everything will work out for you, everything will get better." I nodded and flashed a smile back at him. Maybe this is what I needed. Some help and some time away. "You promise to come visit me everyday until I get out of this hell hole?"

"Promise."

•I can't just forget and move on. It's not that simple.•