Mitzu: Painful

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Gxg

Angst

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I am your best friend and have been for years. I fell for you first but didn't dare to confess my feelings to you. Chaeyoung didn't know you that longer like how long i knew you and yet, you fell for her, not me.

I thought that if i court you secretly without you knowing, you would fall for me but i thought wrong. I should have confessed, i know, but i don't want to ruin our years of friendship.

What can i do? Take the risk and let our friendship go to a waste? I can't do that. I can't live without you. I need you in my life. 

I looked at your happy face as you talked about Chaeyoung with me whenever we would hang out together. I smiled even though it's painful to bear. I am happy as long as you are happy. 

I want to say i love you to you badly but i hold myself back. I don't want to be someone who ruins people's relationship. Chaeyoung might think that i am ruining your relationship with her. 

"I love you, Chewy-ah!" You always say this before we part ways. You mean it as a friendly way, i know, but some times, i find myself thinking that you really do love me more than as a best friend. 

"I love you too." I said back. You thought that i mean as a friend but you thought wrong. I always say this with my feelings for you. I even hope that you would figure out my feelings just from me saying these 3 words to you.

Chaeyoung would often come and pick you up then drive you home, leaving the broken me behind all alone. If it rains, you won't know what happen to me. You won't know nor think that i will be standing under the rain for such a long time, staring at the direction you went with your girlfriend. You won't know anything. 

Only when i get sick, you would know from our circle of friends. You would come rushing to my house to see how i am. I love it when you does. It makes me feel like you do care and remember about me and did not forget about your best friend even after you are dating someone. I'm glad and thankful for that.

Of course not only that, i am happy that you still make time to hang out with me and sometimes, with our friends. At least i can still spend time with you, it's enough to make me happy and keep me going with my life. 

As long as you are in my life, i have a reason to move on with my life and the reason is always you. Without you, i won't be where i am right now. Heck, i don't even think we would be best friends if i didn't meet you in that café.

Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for being my best friend. I wish you and your girlfriend happiness. I will love you, always will. These feelings of mine would never disappear. It would stay inside my heart.

I love you, Minari.

~~~~THE END~~~~

This is a short one but i hope you guys like it even though its sad :( 

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