Snowbird/Fairgame Oneshots (But mostly Fairgame)

Fair Game: Lunch Date

A/N: It's a headcanon of mine that Clover is allergic to nuts. Like...ALL kinds of nuts.

For lunch, Qrow and Clover go to a small restaurant in Mantle. Everything was great so far, except their waitress was rude.

"What do you want." she deadpanned, not even smiling or looking at them.

The couple was a bit taken aback by the young girl's blunt attitude. Qrow scowls at her, but Clover just brushes it off and smiles, not wanting to make a big deal about it. I mean, she was a teenager after all; teens are just grumpy sometimes.

"I want a root beer and the burger with fries." Qrow replied bitterly, clearly not pleased with his waitress's behavior.

"And...I want a lemon water and a garden salad with no walnuts." Clover told the waitress.

"Mhm, got it, it'll be ready shortly." the girl muttered walking away.

"D*mn brat." growled Qrow, clenching his fists on the table.

Clover puts his hands over Qrow's and smiles warmly at him.

"Calm down, honey, she's just a kid; it's nothing worth getting upset over." Clover said.

He brings his boyfriend's hand to his lips and kisses his knuckles. This makes Qrow blush and look away smiling shyly.

"Ah, I guess you're right. Though I doubt she's gonna keep that job if she doesn't change her attitude." Qrow said after Clover lets go of his hands.

"I don't disagree with you there." chuckled Clover.

The waitress comes back and puts their food and drink in front of them, then walks away without another word. Qrow is two bites in his burger when he noticed Clover not even touching his salad.

"What's wrong, babe?" Qrow asked.

With a sigh, Clover just points at his salad...which is littered with walnuts.

"Oh, h*ll no. Nuh-uh. Where the h*ll is that bratty b**ch." Qrow said getting increasingly upset.

"Qrow, please don't make a scene." Clover pleaded.

"I'm not gonna make a scene, I'm just gonna tell that waitress that she got your order wrong and she needs to fix it." replied Qrow, gritting his teeth.

"Miss! Excuse me, miss!" he called out when he spotted their waitress.

Sighing and rolling her eyes, the girl begrudgingly walked over to them.

"What now?" the waitress snapped.

"Look, I'm sure it was an honest mistake, but my boyfriend clearly ordered a salad without walnuts, so can you please fix it." Qrow said, trying his best to remain calm.

"Look, old guy, I don't make the food, so it's not my fault if the order turned out wrong." the girl replied with quite a bit of sassiness.

"But, perhaps you wrote it down wrong and that's why it came out wrong." Qrow said, now glaring at the girl.

"Are you implying that I'm stupid?" the waitress asked angrily.

"Nooo, I'm implying that you're careless." answered Qrow, condescendingly.

"Well, if you're boyfriend has such a problem with walnuts, why don't he just pick them out?!" the girl said putting her hands on her hips.

Clover face palms, knowing full well that his boyfriend is about to lose it. Qrow's never hit a teenaged girl before, but this girl is seriously pushing it. The huntsman takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"He's ALLERGIC! He can't just pick them out. Are you trying to get my boyfriend killed, you dumba**!" Qrow told her, pissed off.

"Oh, I'm the dumba**?! No! The dumba** here is you're boyfriend for ordering something that has stuff he's allergic to in it." the girl replied.

Now Qrow is boiling with anger, his face red. No one calls his boyfriend dumb, especially not a dumba**. Worried something might happen, Clover jumps in between the two and puts his hands on Qrow's shoulders.

"Honey, calm down, it's just a salad." Clover said in a soothing tone.

"A salad that could KILL YOU!" Qrow shouted.

"I know, I know...but it's not worth all the trouble. Let's just get out of here." Clover said cupping his boyfriend's face.

Qrow sighs, then nods. Clover pays for the food, not leaving a tip for the rude waitress; then holds hands with Qrow and leaves the restaurant.

"Sorry if I embarrassed you." Qrow apologized.

"It's okay, honey. You were just looking out for me. Thank you for that, by the way." Clover replied hugging Qrow's arm.

He intertwines their fingers and plants a kiss to Qrow's cheek.

"So what do we do about lunch?" Qrow asked leaning his head on Clover's shoulder.

"I could cook us something." answered Clover.

"No, I'll cook it. You just paid for food we didn't eat. I can't make you cook, too." Qrow insisted.

"Alright, just don't cook anything with nuts." Clover joked with a playful wink.

A beautiful laugh, in Clover's opinion, escapes Qrow's lips. When they get back, Qrow makes him and his boyfriend a totally nut-free, and attitude free, lunch. Later on that day, the huntsman secretly calls the restaurant's manager and tells him about the incident with the rude waitress...she was fired. Apparently Qrow wasn't the only one the girl had pissed off.