Snowbird/Fairgame Oneshots (But mostly Fairgame)

Fair Game: Poison Ivy

Clover, Qrow, and team RWBY were all in Patch, visiting Tai. While the girls were at Tai's house, Qrow and Clover were on a picnic date. Clover laid stretched out on the picnic blanket, basking in the warmth of the sun. Qrow knelt next to him and ran his fingers through Clover's hair.

"Mmmmm, that's nice." Clover sighed contentedly.

Then Qrow starts kissing Clover all over his face. Clover closes his eyes with a smile on his face and lets his boyfriend shower him with love and affection. Then suddenly, a red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting is smooshed in Clover's face.

"What the h*ll!" Clover said as Qrow laughed.

"Sorry...hahaha...I couldn't resist." Qrow replied.

"I'm gonna get you for this." Clover said wiping his face with a napkin.

Laughing, Qrow runs just out of reach of his boyfriend, who's chasing him. Clover finally catches Qrow, grabbing him by the waist and lifting him into the air. He holds on tightly to his boyfriend as he spins around, both of them laughing hysterically. The Ace Op loses his footing and falls backwards into a bush. They laid there in that bush until their laughter died down. Qrow rolls on top of Clover and kisses him, tasting cream cheese frosting on his lips. Clover wraps his arm around Qrow's waist, his other hand gripping Qrow's hair, and flips them over so that he was on top. The two made out for a good ten minutes before packing up the picnic and heading back. On their way back, both of them started to feel...itchy, like, extremely itchy.

"What the h*ll is making us so itchy!?" Qrow groaned in annoyance.

"I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!" Clover whined, scratching at his upper arms.

"Woah! What happened to you two?" Yang asked when Qrow and Clover came into the house.

"Why do you ask?" Qrow replied.

"Uncle Qrow, Uncle Clover, your arms and necks are red." Ruby said.

She walks over behind Qrow and Clover and lifts their shirts to look at their backs.

"Holy cow! Your backs are red too!" Ruby gasped.

"What exactly happened on you guys's date?" Blake asked.

Qrow and Clover tell team RWBY everything that happened on their picnic.

"You idiots! You were making out in a patch of POISON IVY!" Weiss told them.

"We...we didn't know it was poison ivy." Clover mumbled blushing with embarrassment.

Weiss face palms and shakes her head.

"You two get into the shower, now! Rinse that stuff off! And, Ruby, wash your hands, you touched their shirts." Yang said.

"Eeek!" Ruby shrieked running towards the kitchen.

After their shower, the couple get dressed into a pair of shorts and a tank top.

"Stop scratching!" Weiss demanded.

"But it itches!" Qrow argued childishly.

"I don't care if it itches, scratching it is going to make it worse!" Weiss argued back.

"So, no more scratching yourselves." she told them, hands on her hips.

Clover and Qrow shrug then start scratching at each other.

"Hey! I told you two to stop scratching!" Weiss said.

"No, you told us to stop scratching ourselves." Qrow replied.

"You didn't say anything about scratching each other." Clover added.

With her usual scowl, Weiss's right eye twitches as she takes in a deep breath through her nose.

"Ruby!" Weiss called out.

Ruby comes in, sees that Weiss is getting agtitated, then gives her uncles a stern look.

"You guys have two choices; you either let me handle the whole scratching situation, or I'll go call Auntie JoJo." Ruby said.

Both men put their hands down at their sides, signaling that they rather have the first option than the second. Next, Ruby duct tapes oven mitts to their hands to prevent them from scratching.

"Now, you two behave and go sit in the kitchen so Yang and Blake can give you the anti-itch cream." Ruby told them pointing towards the kitchen.

"Ugh, this f**king sucks!" Qrow grumbled walking into the kitchen with Clover.

"Maybe you two should've thought of that before sucking faces in a poison ivy patch." Yang replied.

"I don't know what's worse; the itching, or you four." Qrow said slumping in his chair.

"We love you, too, Qrow." Blake chuckled, handing Yang the jar of anti-itch cream.

Yang grabs a big paint brush and starts dipping it into the jar.

"Is the paint brush really necessary?" Clover asked.

"I don't wanna touch this gunk with my hands. Besides, you two were dumb enough not to notice that you were laying in a poison ivy patch, so you get the paint brush." Yang answered.

During the application of the anti-itch cream, Clover and Qrow pouted and complained about their unfortunate situation.

"How long are we supposed to leave this sh*t on?" Qrow asked.

"Hmm...an hour." Blake replied reading the jar.

"*sigh*...I hate this." Clover said.

"Me too, babe." Qrow added.

"This is your fault." he told his boyfriend.

"My fault!? How is this my fault?" Clover asked, offended.

"You're the one who dragged us into that d*mn poison ivy patch." Qrow explained.

"Well, you started it all by smooshing a cupcake in my face." Clover argued.

While the couple argued back and forth over whose fault it was, team RWBY rolled their eyes at their silliness. When Tai got home, he saw that Clover and Qrow's entire upper half of their body was covered in a red rash.

"What happened to these two?" Tai asked the four teens.

"Poison ivy." Ruby replied.

Then when Yang explains the full story, Tai laughs and makes fun of Qrow and Clover.

"We're never going to live this down, are we?" Clover sighed.

"No, we are not." Qrow said.

Qrow and Clover's "poison ivy" story spread like wild fire. By the time they returned to Atlas; all the Ace Ops, team JN_R, Oscar, Penny, Winter, and Ironwood had found out about the incident.