Stardust Crusade (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Fanfiction)

Chapter IX: Heart

Funny stood before Dio in the cold desert night.

Funny: "You're a prick, Dio Brando. Your heart is only filled with hatred for all man in the world."

Dio paced around Funny.

Dio: "I'm filled with hatred indeed, Valentine. Now, Valentine... This fight will be plain and simple. I'll try and kill you while you try and kill me."

Dio shows Funny his fangs.

Funny: "So... You're a Vampire? Then, it's a mistake to face me! D4C: SPIN OVERDRIIIVE!!!"

Funny shoots at Dio with Steel Balls, where suddenly, he disappears.

He's behind him now.

Funny immediately attacks,

D4C, punching Dio several times as The World punches back: "DI FO SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!"

The World: "MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA-!!!!!!!"

Funny: "Impossible! He was just in front of me! How can he move so quickly?!"

Dio smiled evilly.

Dio: "WRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"

Dio hugged Funny and stabbed his back with his claws. He then bites Funny's neck.

Dio, chewing: "I'm going to enjoy this as much as I enjoyed drinking fine red wine in a sacred Church. A 'spiritual' man like you should be drinked with respect and pleasure..."

Dio mocked.

Funny used D4C to punch him away, as Dio pounced back.

Dio is acting like a cat, as he licks his claws to clean the blood away.

Funny: "I can only use my Dimension Hop once per day... I should be very careful in its usage... Right now, I should be thinking about what this monster is capable of..."

Dio: "You're probably thinking what I'm capable of! Hmhmhmhm... How sweet. The President of America wants to know what I can do!"

Dio, whispering with his breath: "Wrryyy...."

Funny: "What can you do, Dio? What is the secret of your Stand?!"

Dio: "Jonathan didn't mind how my Stand functions. He just assumed it was teleportation."

Funny backs away carefully.

Dio: "What's wrong? It seems that your Stand only has one usage per day."

Funny: "Damn it... He saw through me... I should be very careful... Wait...Hm... I have the feeling that he could've killed me much, much sooner. What's keeping him, then?

He's toying with me... Like a cat playing with its food, the dead mouse... He's playing with me..."

Funny took out his napkin and wiped the blood off of his lips.

Funny: "Look, Dio. This will end very badly if you try to kill me. I am the President of America, and my people will have your head if you do so. Join me, Mr. Brando!"

Dio: "You say you don't want power. Then, why do you say you want to become the next God in your so-called religion?"

Funny: "Ignoring my offer... How bold...
Because only I have the balls to do it, Mr. Brando."

Dio, whispering: "This blood has destiny..."

Funny: "What was that?!"

Dio: "My old Master told me of his other student, said to have his family to have destiny.... When I spoke of him, Jonathan's eyes squinted. When I said I got him killed, Jonathan's fists clenched."

Funny: "I saw that. Yes. Oh my... He was this other student?"

Dio: "That just pisses me off even more... That's how he learned Hamon so quickly! I thought he learned it from some scrub... But he's terrible at using Ham-! The wound! Of course... His punctured lung... Hmhmhmhm..."

Funny: "Why are you even talking about Jonathan instead of my offer?"

Dio: "Because I'm playing with you, Valentine. Of course, you already knew that. You see, Valentine... I only want one thing and one thing only, and that is to achieve Heaven. You and JoJo are in the way, so I have no choice but to kill you... I'm bored with you now... Good bye."

D4C: "DI FO SIIII!!!!"

D4C tries to teleport to another universe... But...

Well, he did teleport, but...

He came back.

Funny: "What?! No! That can't be! I can't just come back to the root universe unless-!!!
Unless my root universe is a second off from the universe I went to.
You stopped this universe's time for a second, didn't you?"

Dio laughed.

Dio: "The concept of your Stand is truly amazing. But my Stand can counter it. May I present to you, The World! ZA WARUDO!!!"

Dio stops time and punched Funny...

"MUDA!!!"

 But-...

Dio's hand started to burn.

Time resumed.

Funny: "You really think I'd be that stupid? I imbued my body with Spin Energy. Like Hamon, it has the same effects, but this Spin moves around my body like Hamon. This is called Golden Spin, an ability that allows you to fly, move faster, and protect yourself from filthy creatures like you."

Dio screamed in pain as Funny walked away.

Dio: "WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!"

Funny: "Bask in the artificial sunlight, Vampire scum."