Stardust Crusade (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Fanfiction)

Chapter II: Battle Against Straizo

December 1, 1939

Joseph walked outside and watched the snow fall.

Beside him is Smokey and Caesar.

Smokey offers both a cigar.

Joseph, in a thick New Yorker accent: "Nah. I don't smoke nor drink. I prefer to keep my lungs at full health in case a bloody vampire attacks us."

Caesar, in a thick Italian accent: "Me neither. Spin is basically Hamon but circular."

Smokey shrugs and takes a smoke.

He blows out the smoke and breathes it back in.

Smokey, in an African-American accent: "They don't call me Smokey for nothin'."

Caesar: "Are you sure you don't want to practice Hamon or Spin?"

Smokey puffs the smoke.

Smokey: "I don't want to. I prefer to use my breath for other purposes, you know?"

Joseph: "I don't get it but sure."

Caesar: "So... Joseph. I've made a song I believe you'd love!"

Joseph: "Oh... great. Another one of your dastardly songs. Go forth and sing, Italiano."

Caesar, monotonously: "Pizza Mozzarella. Pizza Mozzarella. Rellarellarellarella. Rellarellarellarella."

Joseph applauds as Smokey has a confused look on his face.

Joseph: "I've never seen such art! By God!"

Joseph turns and whispered to Smokey.

Joseph: "Be supportive!"

Smokey, applauding as well: "Yeah! Good job, Caesar the Great!"

Incidentally, a man from an alleyway crept out and walked towards the three.

Joseph: "That's strange. That long-haired fella doesn't seem to have breath on his lungs. 'Ello Gov'na! Are ya ill or something? Would ya like to go inside the cafe behind us and have a cup of tea? I'll treat ya!"

Caesar: "Wait a minute..."

Joseph: "That's right, Caesar! That guy's paleness confirms it!"

Smokey: "What are these two talking about?!"

Joseph: "We're talking about him being a BLOODY VAMPIRE!!!!"

Smokey: "Oh!
Wait... How'd he know what I was thinking?"

Joseph releases Hermit Purple while Caesar released a bunch of bubbles.

Caesar: "Bubble Trouble Blue!"

Joseph: "Hermit Purple!"

Caesar's shiny light blue bubbles start to spin in high speeds with pink lightning surrounding it.

Joseph's purple vines conduct golden lightning and golden aura.

Smokey: "What's happening right now?!"

Joseph suddenly, using Hermit Purple, brings out a Tommy Gun from behind.

Caesar: "JoJo?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! NOOO!!!"

Joseph, using Hermit Purple to pull the trigger: "TOMMY GUN OVERDRIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!"

Joseph shot the Vampire several times over into the cafe, breaking the glass everywhere.