Stardust Crusade (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Fanfiction)

Chapter VIII: Vegeta Resents Thanos

Vegeta: "Remind me again why'd you stab these fuckers in the heart with a cross and an arrow?!"

Prometheus finishes bandaging the three as he puts them to bed.

Prometheus: "I stabbed Goku and Mob with crosses because I need them to be more powerful than ever.
The Stands that you are destined to develop reflect with your personalities or what you need to do and have in that situation.
For Goku and Mob, they might also get Heaven's Stand. Saitama, I stabbed him with a cross. What he might gain might not be the best Stand."

Vegeta: "The hell didn't you get yourself a Stand?"

Prometheus: "You have to have potential to have a Stand. Mob nearly didn't have any if it weren't for his... Uh.. Well. The 'other guy'."

Vegeta: "So I got my abilities because we needed someone fast at that time?"

Prometheus: "And the fact that you're pretty fast in gaining new forms, and you're pretty good at playing catch-up."

Vegeta: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Prometheus, stammering: "I-It means... That... You're pretty Goddamned determined."

Vegeta: "Fuck yeah, I am. So why'd you stab the Bald Man with an arrow instead of a Goddamned magic Holy cross?"

Prometheus: "Are you kidding me? Those are fine crosses straight from the Kingdom of Heaven. The arrow broke when I vibrated it and stabbed Saitama with it.
You think I'd waste my fine Standium Cross, 10 Trillion Units, for a Stand for one man?! Who do you think I am, Dio f*ckin' Brando?!"

Vegeta: "Good point. So, Stone, when will these idiots wake up?"

Prometheus: "Depends really. One could wake up early, the other later on."

Vegeta: "So, what about their Stands?"

Prometheus: "For Goku, he gets Ultimate Battle Over Heaven.
It fights alongside the user and its strength is as of the same strength as of user. 
It has ultimate Precision, just like Goku.
For Mob, he gains the power to break his limits.
And for Saita-..."

Jotaro: "Yare yare. You guys seem to haven't noticed that giant yellow helicopter up front."

The three run to the window.

Jotaro: "See? It has a face in front of some purple man. Nah wait, it just disappeared."

Prometheus: Fuck this...

Prometheus teleports away.

Vegeta: "Strange. Anyways, why are we still in this Earth again?!"

Jotaro: "Prometheus says we have to kill this last guy, who DIO appointed the ruler of this Earth. He apparently fought my grandfather.
Anyways... That guy could be a Stand-User..."

Vegeta: "What is he?"

Jotaro: "No idea."

Vegeta: "No... The Leader of this World?"

Jotaro: "Oh...
He's an ancient body-building man who created vampires back in the day, who wanted to be immortal, so he genocided his race and became the Ultimate Being.
Apparently, DIO found him and turned him to his side. Then he was so impressed and a few days later, he's the appointed King around here."

Vegeta: "Your family's so fuckin' awesome."

Jotaro: "Anyways.... STAND-USER!!!"

Vegeta looked closely.

Vegeta: "Boy...
THAT'S NO STAND-USER!!!"

Jotaro prepares Star Platinum.

Vegeta: "CHRIST!!!
Who is this?
Your sex partner?"