Stardust Crusade (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Fanfiction)

Chapter XV: Alucard Wants to Party Party Party

"Oh, fuck that." said Alucard, the Abridged Infinite Vampire, "I guess I'll just go fuckdoodle up and.... go for a walk."

Meanwhile...

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*

The seven look at the distance as their ship explodes in the horizon.

Vegeta: "Kakarot... The fuck did you leave the stove on?"

Goku: "How was I supposed to know that it was neck-layered and powdered?"

Vegeta: "NUCLEAR!!! NUCLEAR POWERED!!!
AND THE SPACE WIZARD TOLD US THAT WHEN I-..."

Saitama, Mob and Jotaro: "We."

Vegeta: "WE GOT THAT SHIP!!!"

Jotaro: "Yare, yare. Look, Vegeta.
We don't have time for this.
We have two years left as Prometheus said we have three years for the adventure, and we have to race to the castle at the former Arctic Circle of this Earth, now a frozen wasteland where the castle of the five Requiem Users reside in. Right now, we're in a desert and we have no idea where we are."

Suddenly, Vegeta, Saitama and Goku hear something close by.

Goku: "We're being ambushed.
I can hear a swordsman nearby."

Avdol prepares Magician's Red and Genos prepares... Genos.

Jotaro: "How do you know?"

Saitama: "I could hear soft footsteps as well as someone sharpening their sword."

Goku: "Smells like Yamcha."

Vegeta: "Oh!
It's the Beta Male."

Jotaro: "Who?"

Vegeta: "Some weakling that used to date my wife.
I call him Betamale. Get it? Because he's lower than us Alphas. Much like you, Psychic Brat."

Mob: "Thanks."

Jotaro: "Christ, Mob.
Stop thanking him."

Vegeta: "Dumbass.
Kakarot! You fucking idiot! WHO COOKS SOAP!?"

Goku: "It's called a soap bar for a reason.
You know, like chocolate bars."

Vegeta: "Christ...
And I couldn't agree more!
You're off the hook!"

Avdol: "Are you serious?
We have no transport!"

Jotaro begins to walk away.

Avdol: "Where do you think you're going!?"

Jotaro: "We have no time to argue. As much as Son here pisses me off, we don't have time or DIO will do something so vulgar to the Omniverse we stand in."

Mob: "Why don't we just use our Stands to get there?"

Genos: "Because Prometheus warned you to not use your Stands to move around all willie-nillie.
Mob's job is to contact people with other universes.
And Prometheus appointed me as your navigator."

Saitama: "Good job, dude."

Mob: "Why can't we use our abilities?"

Genos: "It's because this guy... who calls himself Star Lord... Whatever....
He could equal your abilities."

Yamcha: "His name is Super D Duper Star, and he's too amazing for you to insult him."

Jotaro scoffs.