Chapter 57- Explanation

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   I sat down next to her and took a deep breath before I started talking. "It is not how it looks like..." "I don't think my eyes lie to me Y/n, I saw what is saw!" She said in disgust. "No...I, I didn't kiss him! I-" "Yea right!" She cut me off with an ignorant laugh before I could finish talking. "I didn't kiss him!! He...he kissed me! I asked him about the person he loves and he went and kissed me. Now I know how you felt when I accused you of kissing your ex." I said now fully understanding her feelings. "I, I don't know Y/n..." She said her voice getting softer with every word she said. "That is why," I placed my hand on her thigh and gave her a small smile, "I will leave you now...to think about it,  to process it because that is what helped me to figure things out about your situation back then." I got up from the sofa and started walking away. "And besides if you didn't know...I am gay all the way." I sighed and left Weems sitting on the sofa, her head down probably already thinking about her decisions.

   I got back to my dorm and sat down on my bed. I wanted to scream and cry, throw my stuff all around the room, even tho I didn't kiss Josh, will Weems believe me, will she understand me? "No. I can't cry, it is not my fault he kissed me, and Weems should know that she is smart, she will understand me...I hope." I was trying to gaslight myself to try to calm myself down. "I shouldn't have gone to Jericho with him, should have stayed here and made those bracelets," I said to myself as I looked over at the table where my abandoned project lay. I was in no mood to do some arts and crafts at the moment, my mind needed a break, I needed to be alone where no one especially Weems wouldn't find me, and I knew just the place, the secret biology class. I grabbed my jacket, a pen with some paper, and some candles because it was already dark outside and left to go shut myself off for a few hours.

   When I got to the dark cold room I felt a little more at peace, I lit the candles which illuminated most of the room in a dim light, and sat down in one of the many seats. I placed the paper on the table and pulled one of the candles closer so I would see what I would be writing. I decided to help her make her mind up by writing a letter to her just like she had written to me.

''Dear Larissa...
You probably are really upset with me, just like once I was with you, so I am writing this to you to help you understand that, what you saw was completely opposed to what I felt. As a child, I always felt like something was wrong with me because I had never had any crushes on boys, and didn't let myself fall for a girl, because I was raised in a homophobic family which let me question myself a lot until when I was 13 I finally figured out who I truly am and until this day I haven't had a crush on a boy, Josh was the first boy who had ever kissed me. You probably now are doubting my feeling towards you, you probably think that I don't love you anymore and all that stuff, but NO, I do love you, if I didn't, I would have cut you already out of my life avoiding every interaction with you. I just want you to know that you are the most beautiful, most caring, most loving woman I have ever met, and you were my first ever kiss, so you to me are very special and I don't want to lose you ever.
With all my heart...
Y/n''

   I finished writing the letter to her and folded it up giving it a little kiss. I started getting a little chilly and decided to go give her the letter now to make things right. I blew out the candles so the whole school won't burn down and left the classroom. I quickly got back to school and went to my dorm to put my jacket away before I went to Larissa. I got to her door and slowly pulled the door handle down and quietly stepped in. I saw Weems sitting on the sofa and it made me wonder if she even got up. "Hey, I wanted to give you this. Hope it helps." I said as I handed her the peace of paper which she briefly took. "Now I will go..." I said and turned away as Weems started reading my letter. 

   I left her office and slowly started going back to my dorm. "Y/n!...Wait!" Weems loudly said while quickly walking towards me. I turned around as she already approached me and grabbed my arm and started pulling me back to her office. "What, what now? Are you going to kill me?" I asked as she pulled me into her office. "No. Something better..." She said and looked at me with a lust full eyes. And then Larissa placed her lips on mine.

The angel's voice. Y/n X Larissa Weems secret loveUnde poveștirile trăiesc. Descoperă acum