The angel's voice. Y/n X Larissa Weems secret love

Chapter 101- Deep Confessions

   When I got back to my dorm I threw the flowers on my bed and sat down as well. I started thinking about what should I do with Ember. ''Should I tell Larisa? You know what...'' I realized that I was tired of Embers fucking  games and probably if I continue keeping this all to myself she would definitely make me and Larissa split up. ''Fuck you Ember! I am not gonna keep this shit to myself anymore.'' 

   I stood up and looked through my window to see if Larissa was in her office, and for my luck she was. I decided to go to Larissa and tell her everything, how Ember felt about her and how she was trying to play these sick games as if we weren't humans but robots. ''Ember you can go eat dirt!'' I whimpered under my breath as I left my dorm. 

   I as quickly as possible rushed to her office and immediately walked in. ''Y/n? Is everything alright?'' She asked as I continued walking up to her. ''No, nothing is fine! That Ember! I can't stand her anymore!'' I tried to remain calm as I was about to tell her this. ''Y/n? Why? Do you want to sit down and talk?'' I could see how confused she was just by her facial expression, but I wasn't going to sit down, I just needed to get this out of my system as soon as possible. 

   ''Just listen.'' I remained standing, ''Ember likes you, and not just as a silly crush or something, no, no, no...she likes you, like loves you. She is so fucking obsessed with you, and that is why she made up the story about almost getting attacked by the Hyde or whatever it is called, she just wanted to get closer to you. I should have told you this earlier and I am sorry I didn't because at first I still considered her as my friend and I wanted to save the embarrassment for her, but now I just don't care. And now, she literally took the flowers you gave me for herself saying she needed them more!'' I stopped for a second to take a few breaths and Larissa thought it was a good idea to say something, but I didn't let her and continued. 

   ''Oh, I am not done. Oh, and you know what she did after she found out I like you as well, wait...that I LOVE YOU! She literally first stomped the flowers, and then made up a stupid ''competition'','' I made quotation marks with my fingers referring to the word competition, ''She wants to see who kisses you first, me or her, and in the end wants to know who you will choose ower who. What THE FUCK IS THAT, WHO INVENTS SOMETHING LIKE THAT!'' I could feel myself losing grip on myself, while Larissa kept on listening. 

   ''I can't deal with her anymore, I don't know what to do Larissa! I told her that I have kissed you already, but she just laughed about it, I don't know if I could tell her that I am together with you, I wanted to, I wanted to say it real good, rub it in her stupid face, but I didn't, I just walked out like a fucking idiot. She said she had a better chance with you rather than me as if she for sure knew that and that is why I called her delusional, but maybe...in the end, I am the delusion one? Thinking I can fix everything on my own, but clearly, I can't. Everything is my fault, If I had told you earlier that Ember likes you, nothing would have happened, and we wouldn't have gotten into that stupid argument.'' And as I was saying that thing I realized that I wasn't better than Ember, I was basically her just in a different font, and so I started beating myself up mentally, trying not to cry. I finally cracked and spilled like a bucket, everything I had been keeping to myself, or even things I hadn't realized came flooding out. 

   ''I am so sorry about everything...'' I realized that I needed to be a better person especially when it came to me running away from problems, ''I am so, so sorry, for running away whenever things got too bad for me to face them, always thinking that I can handle stuff on my own, but I am scared I won't be able to change that, and I am not used to opening up...HOW can you even look at me? Love me? I am a terrible person!'' Now that I had realized this stuff about me in less than 5 minutes, I wondered how Larissa didn't feel disgusted with me and was still with me. 

   I wanted to rip my hair out, just kill myself in the best-case scenario, ''Maybe I have problems...'' I needed to sit down so I walked up to the sofa and fell into it. An innocent confession had turned into self-criticism, making me realize how shitty I am. ''I always say I will do better, but always end up in the same position...'' I quietly whimpered feeling tears starting to run down my cheeks. I had left myself with no words, all I could do now is just sit and wait to see what Larissa had to say about this while staring in the empty and dark fireplace. 

   ''Can I finally talk?'' Larissa asked as she started slowly walking up to me, so I just nodded my head. ''Alright, where do I begin, you went through at least 3 serious topics in less than 4 minutes.'' She chuckled as she sat down next to me. 

   She took my hands into hers and looked into my sad eyes. ''First, are you jealous that Ember likes me as well.'' She kindly asked and I replied. ''No, but I wish I was, I just didn't want to tell you, because what now? What will you do with her? Will you say that we are together? But wouldn't she run to the staff and say this to them, getting you fired in the end? That is why I didn't say anything, I didn't want that happening to you.'' I squeezed my cold dry hands into her soft and warm ones. 

   ''Oh...Y/n, she can't possibly fire me! I am in charge here.'' 

Authors note:

I hope this chapter is not too messy and that I was able to put the thought that I wanted to put out there.