TAEGI SMUTS [ᵃᵒ3]

Blow Up My World (Or Blow Up My Dick)

Ao3 by - Bandit4Life

Summary :

Taehyung doesn't like sex with girls anymore and thinks it's karma so he swears celibacy.

Jeongguk is convinced that he just needs someone to suck the soul out of his dick and he has the perfect candidate for the job.

aka

Min Yoongi and his tongue technology to have Taehyung whipped.

-
-
-
-
-
-
-

“You look like shit.”

Well, if this isn’t the nicest way to be greeted by your best friend.

Taehyung just glares at a snickering Jeongguk as he drops his bag on the floor, kicks off his shoes and jumps on the couch. The groan that left his mouth gets muffled against the pillows he has shoved his face in.

“Thanks.” He grumbles and kicks his leg in frustration as he looks up at his friend again.

“I really needed that support.”

The thing is, he and Jeongguk knew each other since high school.

They’re inseparable, attached by the hip – well, maybe not so much anymore since the younger found himself a boyfriend but Taehyung has no problem crushing their dates and third wheeling while sticking his tongue out at his best friend when he demands the attention of the younger’s boyfriend. It had taken Jeongguk a few months to get the courage to ask the older boy out and another few weeks to finally make things official and actually introduce him to Taehyung. Until then he only knew the other guy as Thiccmin and Taehyung did not refrain from telling Jimin this the second they finally met.

Thinking about it, maybe that’s the reason why Jeongguk is being extra pissy in the last weeks. Especially to him. Or maybe it’s just because Taehyung is just stressed – student life, ya know? Additionally, comes the emptiness of his wallet, the fact that he got fired from his job as a barista and – oh, well, of course, the intentional lack of sex in his life. Which is a good and a bad thing at the same time.

“It’s because of your dry spell.” Jeongguk pipes up from where he’s sitting on the kitchen counter, eating a bowl of cereal.

Taehyung has half the mind to throw a badly aimed pillow in his direction because how fucking often did he already tell him to keep his dusty ass off the counter?! And does the little brat ever listen?! Of fucking course not. No one ever listens to him.

“It’s not a dry spell.” Taehyung replies, turning around on his back to stare at the ceiling.

“It’s celibacy.”

And it really is.

Taehyung has always enjoyed sex. Of course, he did. Almost everyone does but in the past months – maybe a little longer than that – things haven’t really felt satisfying for him. After he broke up with his girlfriend last year he only had short flings or one night stands and he’s okay with that. Really. It’s not because he misses having a relationship… it’s just… Every time he would get together with another girl he would find new things that annoyed him about the sex – things that never really bugged him. Or they did but he had always ignored that feeling when he was a teen because, well, it was sex and sex is great but not so much anymore if you start getting annoyed by your partner. He thought it was just because of bad luck, always picking the wrong girls to sleep with but after the Incident™, he has definitely accepted his celibacy.

Jeongguk, though, hasn’t.

“You need to get laid.”

“I do certainly not.” Taehyung says, annoyance dripping from his voice.