Sanders Sides Parenting/Kids One-Shots

(42) Prank - Dukexiety

Summary: Remus and Virgil are roommates, and just that. Sure, they sleep together sometimes when they need to but that doesn't mean it's exclusive. It's only until a freak-of-nature phenomenon happens that they seriously reconsider their next steps.

TW - mpreg, mention of sex and therefore pregnancy, doctors and hospital mentioned and lots of swearing

This is a little bit of chaos (even though it's human AU). Enjoy.

Words: 1061

Friday afternoons were the best for Virgil. He didn't have work at all that day so could get up late, eat unhealthily and procrastinate getting in the shower until 5pm. At this point he was hanging off his bed upside down, his hood and hair reaching the floor as he tapped his feet on the wall, staring at his phone which was playing an interesting documentary he found on the lifespan of spiders. All was peaceful until he heard a knock on the door followed by his roommate, Remus, appearing in his room. "Hey emo?" Remus said, for some reason cautious, but Virgil didn't pay any mind to it.

"Hey Ratmus, what's up?" Virgil moved his head slightly to look at his friend. Well, a bit more than friends. Not that they were boyfriends or anything, just fuck buddies. They were both cis gay men who were lonely in college - if Virgil's memory served him right it was Remus who first suggested they relieved themselves together until they found someone they wanted to commit to. For Virgil at least, that hadn't happened yet.

For a moment Remus silenced, just staring at Virgil with his hands behind his back. Virgil glanced back at him confused, letting him finally speak after he took a deep breath. "I... I don't know..." He eventually whispered, giving up on explaining and instead just revealing his hand, holding a small pink stick. Virgil examined the stick and focused on it. It was a pregnancy test, and it showed two red lines. "I don't know how it's even possible Virgil but I'm sorry..."

Virgil couldn't help but laugh which interrupted Remus' ramble. He flicked his head up to sit opposite Remus head on. "Who gave you that? Great prank mate really, but you didn't realise there's no logical way for you to carry a baby?"

Remus sighed again instead of responding, bringing out another pink stick again with two red lines. "Yeah you probably expected me to be panicking by now." Virgil chuckled. "Seriously though, which one of our friends is pregnant?" Again Remus sighed and brought out a third stick with the same result. "Wow, you actually went all out on this and got the pregnant friend to pee several times for this prank." Another stick, making Virgil still look unimpressed as he leant his jawline on his knuckles. "And pregnancy tests come in packs of 5 of course, show me the next one."

Tears were falling on Remus' face as he choked, showing the fifth test and throwing it at Virgil's face. "I don't know what's happened either! But those are mine Virgil, trust me, I'm actually pregnant with your kid!"

Remus' red and tearful eyes caused Virgil to stop laughing and instead tilt his head. For a moment that's all he did as Remus tried to calm his tears. Remus wasn't the type to ever cry, especially in front of people as he often liked to give a stern exterior. That was something the pair bonded over. "Do you have a spare to test again?" Remus nodded, and Virgil followed him to their shared bathroom. While waiting Remus explained how he felt tired all the time, always emotional, and even couldn't eat his favourite food and instead opted for Virgil's old deodorants. And indeed the test again showed a positive.

So next step was a hospital appointment. Virgil was still convinced it must be some kind of mechanical error with the tests, but Remus was equally convinced something was up with him nevertheless. So they drove together with Virgil driving to the nearest hospital and scheduled a check in with a gynaecologist (even though they were very confused when they saw two cis men walking through the door).

The doctor examined the tests confused, then ran off in search of other doctors. Soon there were at least half a dozen doctors stuffed into the small meeting room with Remus grabbing tightly onto his friend's hand. The amount of whispers by people in smart white jackets would feel threatening to anyone. "Mr De Niro, can we schedule an ultrasound right now?" The gynaecologist turned to Remus nervously, Remus nodded and agreed to everything but still held Virgil tightly. Again the doctors crowded around the ultrasound screen, and all was revealed. "Um... Yes Mr De Niro, you are pregnant."

Remus' eyes widened and the doctors quickly left to chat about the findings and what to do next. This left Virgil and Remus alone in shocked silence. "This seems like a bad dream..." Remus eventually whispered, looking up at Virgil. Virgil had a stern expression and continued to stroke Remus' thumb. 

"How do you know it's mine?" Virgil whispered back but didn't let go. "You kept on saying last week that there were other guys you're seeing. Of course I'll still support you anyway as we live together but are you sure you didn't fuck an alien?"

Remus couldn't help but laugh for the first time that day, but shook his head. "I... I may have been lying about seeing other people. I actually haven't wanted to." Virgil looked more confused after that and the pair met eyes. "You're just... You're good to me. You're nice. I can't imagine doing anything sexually or... romantically with someone else."

Another air of silence came between the two. Virgil just continued stroking Remus' hand unsure how to respond. He always secretly confessed to himself that Remus was the hottest guy Virgil had met and had the luck to be close to, his mind did wonder into the same thoughts with other people but he never felt the courage to act on it. 

He had also never had the courage to act on his deeper feelings. Well, until now. He leant down to where Remus was lying, connecting lips cautiously but with a smile. This time they weren't drunk in a nightclub or bar or in each other's bedroom with one mission on the mind; this time there was no ulterior motive to the kiss. It was just Virgil wanting to be close, and he assumed Remus wanted to be close too as he started to kiss back. "I want to change our label." Virgil whispered breathlessly. Remus smiled back.

"Boyfriend sounds good on you babe, father does too - but I wouldn't mind calling you Daddy."