Sanders Sides Parenting/Kids One-Shots

(94) Mastermind And His... Helper - Janus

Summary: Janus is a an evil man with evil thoughts - apart from when his adorable little son hits a soft spot.

... I recently watched Despicable Me again and got inspiration XD

Words: 1071

Janus flung his cape and patrolled down his extravagantly long winding staircase down to his evil lair, watching as the snakes that covered the basement create an empty path like the water in the Red Sea. It was just a basement but that was besides the point. The point was that Janus was the smartest kind of evil and had a wondrous evil plan.

"Minion I have another plan!" He shouted as he leaped off the last step, speaking into the darkness where he knew his equally evil assistant sat. Since Janus started doing evil things he had his close friend (although friends weren't for evil people it was the best way to describe it) by his side to help him - the reason he was an assistant was because he was very chaotic and kind of psychopathic. There was no response in the darkness. "REMUS!"

A snore was interrupted as Janus turned all the lights on, and Remus lifted his head from the table he was sleeping under and looked around, hitting his head a few times in the process. 

"We can't have you lose more braincells Remus. I have a plan." Janus said after lots of banging and Remus finally stood. He mumbled for a few moments and wiped his eyes. "Do you need a few minutes to gather yourself?"

"Nope, nope, fine." Remus mumbled, slowly opening his eyes. "What's the plan again?"

Janus smirked at that and looked towards his giant blackboard full of different designs. He had been down here for months planning this evil plan and he was going to be successful at it (unlike all the others). "The plan is..." He examined all the notes in front of him before he saw the very bottom corner of the board - a very bad drawing of the moon with some stars. The evil man couldn't help but smile as he remembered who would draw that drawing.

Remus cleared his throat to remind his friend of who he was and what he was talking about, but was holding in a laugh and smile. "Sorry, the plan is..." Now was the time for all the dramatics Janus loved to do. He stepped onto a platform that then raised and twirled, steam erupting from the bottom making his cape fly in the wind. "We will steal all the ties!"

Usually Remus had learnt to slowly clap after a plan was revealed, but this time he just raised an eyebrow and blinked twice. "What?" Janus snapped as the platform lowered again - the only response was a couple more blinks. 

"Who gave you that idea?"

"Dad!"

Down the stairs came a shout and giggle followed by a dozen little footstep sounds on every step as the boy the noises belonged to was running down the stairs. Janus leapt forward immediately to check the child bounding down wasn't falling, but soon the little boy revealed himself with a wide smile. Janus' son, Logan, was probably the cutest child in the universe. He had huge glasses and always wore black because he wanted to be just like his father. When he finally reached the basement a few of Janus' snakes came to greet him and he just giggled and hugged them.

"Wow, you're so evil! I'm in danger!" Remus cooed in his usual taunting tone whenever his best friend became a smiling fest at his little boy. Janus rolled his eyes and laughed. As soon as Logan got close to him he was swooped up into a hug. "Did you seriously ask a three year old to create your newest evil plan?"

"I'm four!" The child corrected, holding up four little fingers at his father's giggle, sounding ever so angry in tone even though that was not adequately communicated in his cuteness. Not even two years ago Logan was a scared little toddler abused and neglected at a children's home but now he was such a smart and happy little boy that Janus didn't mind adoring. 

Remus continued having a raised eyebrow throughout this whole encounter even though he did stop for a moment to stick his tongue out at the correction. "Did you help your Dad with his evil plan then?" He asked, and Logan looked so proud of himself.

"Daddy's going to get me a tie!"

The evil plan was not in the forefront of Janus' mind right now, or even in the back. All that mattered was the evil man's adorable little boy that asked his dad when he can wear ties like big people do. So he was going to give his son all the ties he wanted just to watch that cute little smile. "What have you come down here for little guy?" Janus cooed, sitting on his evil chair while snakes surrounded the pair. Logan used to be scared of snakes - now he loved them as much as his father and the snakes seemed to be very protective of their little friend. 

"Can Patton come play?" Logan chirped, his eyes glowing and his smile wide, Remus chuckled under his breath as he organised all the snake food until Janus was ready to be evil again. The father did a puzzled face and pouted even though he didn't really need to think when and where not Logan's best friend was allowed.

Logan cuddled into his father and had the cutest little smile that almost made Janus contemplate whether he should just be a 'normal dad' and retire his evil ways to give his son a good normal childhood where he could say his dad was an accountant or something.

"Not tonight buddy, I'm a little busy today." Janus said quietly as he watched Remus growing more impatient with his maintenance work as he wanted to be evil right now. "How about you play with the snakes?"

The child jumped off his father's lap and approached the biggest snake like it was a dog, patting its head and sitting on the ground. The snake gently hugged itself around the boy and tolerated his screams about how it tickled and the body was so slimy. After a few minutes Logan was carried away from his father and went towards the snake toys to play with the baby snakes that were only just starting to slither and hiss.

"Remus!" Janus shouted across the basement to his best friend, clapping and rubbing his gloved hands together. "Let's get some ties."