Sanders Sides Parenting/Kids One-Shots

(183) Boyfriends - Loceit + Remile + Royality/Intruality

Same vibes as the picture above, this is a palette cleanser from the last one.

Summary: Logan and Janus often take their energy ball to the park so he can play with his school friends - twins Roman and Remus. The chat is always good with the only other gay parents too, and Patton seems happy exploring his attachments with his two best friends.

Words: 1080

"Dad, when am I old enough to get a boyfriend?"

"When you're 36."

Logan and Janus were driving back home from a day at the park with their six year old, Patton asking innocent and adorable questions and Janus answering back with the desire to keep his oldest son as cute and innocent as possible. Logan chuckled and stroked his husband's thigh, cooing a little at Virgil's cries as he still didn't like car journeys that much. Ten years ago he wouldn't believe he'd be the father of two sons by now - but he couldn't imagine a life without them and his soulmate.

*****

The fathers adored watching their son climb on the climbing frame with his best friends. The best friends were brothers named Roman and Remus - and their parents were the entertainers of the century when the four had to share a bench and make sure their first graders didn't die.

"Surely there's no way a tree can be completely alone in a forest, there's gotta be some birds to hear it or something." Remy mumbled with a hand through his hair, discussing the philosophical question of whether 'a tree falls in the forest and there's no-one there to hear it, does it really make a sound?'. Janus, as a philosophy major, was usually the one to start these discussion points while the people who surrounded him had their brain melting at the thoughts. Remy's brain was melting especially since he was on main caring duty of the twins while his partner was at work... and they were a lot to deal with alone.

Luckily Logan had a way to escape the philosophical conversation as his almost-two-year-old Virgil seemed very intrigued by the sandpit in front of the play area. "I'm going to build sandcastles Jan." Logan whispered and kissed his husband's cheek before wondering in the direction Virgil wanted to take him, also shouting over at Patton asking him to be a 'good big brother' and warn Logan if there were any sand kickers approaching. Patton nodded happily but turned to his own friends and his play-pretend game.

"Oh God, you guys are handling two kids so well. Maybe because they're at different developmental stages... Or whatever Em says when they're talking psychology." Remy sounded half asleep but spoke about his partner with such fondness, smirking at his own sons that were raising havoc at the top of the jungle gym. "Oh, Roman told Em yesterday that he wanted to watch Bluey. Apparently it's Patton's favourite TV show?"

"Mhm, it's on constantly round our house. Virgil even dances to the theme song - being the cute little guy he is." Janus' eyes wondered to his cheering husband as their baby poured sand out of buckets. Remy chuckled at the lovey-dovey state of his friend and then at his sons who seemed very close to their friend.

Remy smirked and crossed his arms as he stared ahead of him. "I think both my boys have a crush on your little Patton."

"How so?" That question caught Janus completely off guard. Patton wasn't old enough to know what crushes were yet! He was still so small and delicate and needed his Winnie the Pooh nightlight on during the evenings and a bedtime story and cuddles at night before bedtime. No way could he have romantic feelings nor understand people having romantic feelings for him!

"Roman's become obsessed with Bluey since he found out Patton loves it, he's literally asked for Bluey bedding for his birthday. And Remus has been using his art skills to draw him and Patton holding hands and getting ice cream together. Just cute childhood crushes." Remy could easily spot the shocked look on his friend's face as he stared at his oldest son in disbelief. "They've been fighting over who gets to marry Patton when they're big too, even though Emile has tried to teach them it's actually Patton's choice who he'd want to date."

"Those are friendship things, surely? They're all still so young." 

Remy's reaction was just a raised eyebrow and a chuckle again. "I'm guessing you didn't hear about the recess marriage last Tuesday that Roman was best man to?"

It felt like yesterday Janus could lie the entirety of Patton's body across his arm and wrap him up in a fluffy blanket with a warm bottle of milk to soothe him to sleep, so it was a shock that Patton was big enough to know that marriage existed. He supposed that came with getting older himself, but he still wasn't ready to deal with the trials and tribulations that came with romantic love and romantic heartbreak. At least there'd be six more years until the hormones came in.

*****

So that's what lead Logan and Janus to this conversation with their six year old about boyfriends, much to Janus' discomfort. "But I want to get married! And I can't get married when I'm super duper old like you!" Logan took a sharp exhale and a giggle at the accidental insult, but took over the conversation so his husband could focus on the road.

"Daddy's only joking Pat, you can get married once you're over 18 and we'd like to meet the person you're marrying first! We want to make sure they're right for you and make you happy."

There was silence for a moment as Patton contemplated what was just said, and Janus believed the conversation to be over as he spoke in his baby-voice to Virgil about how tall his sandcastles were. All was normal in Janus' eyes until Patton spoke up again.

"Can I marry two people Dad?"

Logan paused for a second, side-eyeing Janus who looked shocked again at the realisation of what this meant. "Uh... Legally no, you'll have to choose one to marry. But you can still love both of them as long as everyone involved is OK with it!"

Patton's excited smile matched Logan's as he swung his legs back and forth. He looked overjoyed at this revelation and giggled to himself. "I'm gonna marry both Roman and Remus when I'm grown up then! Is that OK Dad?"

"That's perfectly OK with me." Logan spoke gently, wrapping his hands around Janus' fingers. And Janus knew that in all reality if Patton came home with his two childhood friends as boyfriends he wouldn't mind either. As always, Logan was right, as long as Patton was happy then Logan and Janus were happy too.