Maven Calore X Reader One Shots

Songfic: Hardest Part

(I think about this a lot)

I'm so tired of not feeling anything.

You dropped your pen under the bed again. Fucckkkk. You do that so often, you're kinda getting used to the routine. Now you have to climb under the bed, risk dying if the small chance the bed collapses, and grab your pen. 

So tired of feeling so empty.

As you are fully under the bed, your chest pressed up against the floor and your arms reaching out. It's oddly comforting. Sure, the dusk getting in your face is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world but... being in the soft position of dying feels... interesting. Your life is only existing because of possibilities. Isn't that insane? Well, that is your power after all. You control possibilities. If you were suicidal at the most, the chance of the bed crushing your body would easily be manipulated. But you're not, so the pen goes into your hand and you crawl back out. What's the possibility that you will continue your letter? Very low. You start to read. That wasn't an example of your power, that's just who you are.

When all I ever really wanted

The letter was for Maven. Maven Calore. The boy you've loved for a while. You only know him because you like to search into the castle's kitchen in search of extra food. The possibility that Maven would walk in was foreign to you, but you enjoyed it while it lasted. The possibility Maven would tell you where the good stuff is was the most fun part. You left with him in your thoughts.

was to love and be loved in return.

You want to express your feelings towards Maven but it just seems hard. Getting a letter from the girl in your kitchen is odd, right? You're so bothered about it you can't even focus on your book. You only think about Maven and his bright blue eyes. Maybe if you pretend he's someone else it'll be fine. What are the possibilities Maven will wake up as, I don't know, that guy who sells bread down the street? Of course, you'd never do that but the thought it still there.

Standing up, body still covered in dust. You feel like a human. 

I've lost my key and now I can't let anyone in,

You don't know how to write a letter. I mean, you do physically but just putting the words together to express how you feel is outstandingly hard. Maybe you'll just do a little, what's the possibility Maven will come to my door and marry me! No, that's just not right. Not something you should do. What's the possibility you'll at least try to finish the letter? High. You start working on it immediately.

But letting you in is the hardest part.

This is so creepy, why are you doing this? How are you going to even give him this letter? The possibility of it blowing off with the wind and landing in his bedroom? Yeah... sounds fair. Or a bird or something. Whatever, doesn't matter. 

You have your hook sentence, everything else is lining up. You're almost finished. You explain how magical the situation was and how you changed his possibility, you apologized, of course.

I say I'm so sorry, so sorry, but I gotta let you go.

And it's not like you even want to marry him or anything. You just feel like... maybe you should inform him about how pretty he is. Just in case he's feeling not too great. It'll either be a laugh to him or he'll take it to heart. At least he's happy either way. And that's all that matters to you.

so run run run while you can cos I hurt everything that crosses my path.

When you finish the letter, the wind takes it away. It doesn't feel good. You feel embarrassed. Why are you even doing this? Is it even the right thing? If you were willed enough, you two could have the best relationship. But you... it's possibly never going to happen. You can't find the will to change him again. 

The letter goes into his hand, and he wonders where this mysterious person is. And that's all it goes it. The hardest part about admiring Maven is that you'll likely never see him again. In your mind, you swear to yourself you'll change all of the possibilities that make him die. He'll always stay alive until you're brave enough to have him in your arms.