Songfic: Helpless

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(B-But Salad... didn't you already write this before?

Me **pushing it under the rug aka deleting it just to rewrite it**: I don't know what you're talking about

This story is about my ex-boyfriend and me bye

It's funny because irl the person who's Cal in this is a girl and one of my ex-girlfriends bye


AHM CRIED AT THE END OF THIS BYE)


You look around the room to all of the students, looking for somebody to talk to. It's before school and the air is cold yet for some reason people still like being outside. You don't have any friends. You don't have anywhere to hang out. Maybe you should just... find somebody? You look across the schoolyard and see a guy sitting with headphones, seemingly drawing. He looks beautiful, his hair hanging in his face. His head was covered with a beanie that showed a band logo you didn't recognize. 

Being too nervous to talk to him, you end up walking away.

I have never been the type to come and steal the spotlight

It wasn't until your school's Halloween party you actually started talking to him. The only person who likes hanging out with you, Evangeline, always keeps you company when you are around. You two stand next to each other in your Halloween costumes as you two talk.

We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night

Evangeline looked out, seeing her boyfriend. She didn't even give you a warning before darting towards him. Her boyfriend was tall and a bit handsome in your opinion. But no boy can distract you from that boy in a beanie you keep seeing around. Evangeline hugs him before looking back at you, a big smile on her face. You can still see that smile, that signature smile she always had. You smile back.

Laughing at my sister as she's dazzling the room

She dragged her boyfriend closer to you. Her boyfriend had somebody at his side, somebody shorter and more sheepish than him. 

"This is my boyfriend, his name is Cal." Evangeline lets out with a big smile. Cal waved to you and you waved that.

"Who's with you?" You ask. The boy you were talking about looks up, making eye contact with you. It's funny because you didn't recognize him without his beanie.

Then you walked in and my heart went 'boom'

Your heartbeat rings in your ears as you look away from him, blushing. He looks so emo in that costume, it's quite adorable. A vampire outfit really does suit him.

"This is my little brother, Maven." Cal introduces him. Maven smiles at you, reaching out his hand for you to shake. When you take his hand into yours you realize how soft his hands are, how unusually feminine they seem. Still adorable. You can see red braces locked onto his teeth as his smile widens. His hair falls into his face again before he pushes it away with his fingers. His hair is as black as his outfit and very thick, so much more beautiful than you'd imagine. His eyes were a bright blue color and literally heaven to you. Black hair, blue eyes, he's absolutely stunning.

Everybody's dancing and the band's top volume

Before you knew it Evangeline and Cal were gone, leaving you and Maven alone. You and Maven eventually find seats to sit down on and talk. You felt like heaven talking to him, you felt absolutely beautiful just under his gaze. You two talked about music at first and then drawing. You even carried on about topics you don't even remember. Your school's blue lights shining on him, making him even more beautiful. 

Grab my sister and whisper:

You make eye contact with Evangeline as she dances with Cal. Evangeline gives you a smile and a wink.

"Yo, this one's mine."

Maven always gets every opportunity he has to talk to you, he savors every second he has with you. 

You wish it's still like that. You wish with all of your heart you'll find somebody like him again. Even now when you close your eyes,

then you turn back at me and suddenly I'm helpless

you can still see him turning to you with his light crystal eyes. Those beautiful eyes you'll never see again. 

I'm so into you

You talk with him through Instagram even when you move a state away. Evangeline, you talk with less and Cal even more. Cal and Maven become your best friends. Cal becomes your meme lord and Maven becomes your edge king. 

Sooner than later you become the edge queen after knowing Maven for 3 years.

I'm dying inside as you wine and dine

It's sad because a year after that Maven stopped talking to you and eventually so did Cal. You had no idea what was going on. You never hold that against Cal nowadays because you're too afraid to but it still hurts you.

And I'm trying not to cry because there's nothing that your mind can't do

Later Cal texts you over Instagram, returning like nothing is wrong. He returns but... Maven doesn't. Cal refuses to talk about Maven and you learn to not ask. 

All I have's my honor, a tolerance for pain

Cal texts you one day, laying out paragraph after paragraph.

No stress, my love for you is never in doubt

Each paragraph talking about Maven and what happened to him.

As long as I'm alive, I swear to god you'll never feel so

A car accident. Months ago. Happened to their parents and Maven. Cal's too broken to even tell you the truth. He's living with our grandparents, he has no internet. That's what Cal tells you. You don't believe it. You never will. You feel so helpless everyday, missing talking to him. You miss his smile, you miss his voice. You can't even think of it. What did you even sound like? You can't hear his voice, you can't imagine his smile. Only his eyes, those bright blue eyes that light up your life.

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