Oh, We Are Married?

Let Me Love You

Jennie's POV

She stands next to me all day long. I know she's bored, having to listen to all the bullshit condolences about Mamma from people we barely know but still she stays, next to me, our hands intertwined.

"Hey, Jen" she breaks the silence. I keep my face straight, my eyes are on the flowers we have been receiving.

"I know it's too late" she says again, circling her thumb on the back of my hand.

"But if you ever let me love you again..." she pauses and my heart breaks at the moment I hear she stiff a sob. "Just tell me. Because I fucking love you so much and I'd always always wait for you"

"Can't we not talk about this now?" I mentally slap myself for uttering such words. "I know now might now be the right time" Jisoo smiles weakly. Tears are already in her eyes, but for me she keeps them, not even allowing them to stream down her cheeks.

"But I just want to let you know, that I love you, if you let me. And I love Bella, our child. And I love our family. If you're willing to take me in, I'd really like to go home again"

"Jisoo" I look her firm in her eyes with my resting bitch face. "Didn't I say not now?"

She nods. Her hand is still in mine.

"We always have later" she smiles and I just give her a blank look.

I am not sure I understand what I want.

•••

The night emerges. As I change my clothes to a comfy black pajamas, Lisa joins me in the living hall. She wears a stripey brownish pajamas.

"Hey" she kisses the side of my head. I greet her back with the same hey, patting the empty seat next to me at her. She nods and takes a seat.

"You okay?" she asks. But her eyes are darted more on the half empty beer bottle that I've been drinking like a fish.

"Kinda" I lie to her.

"I know you miss her" she says softly as she rests her head on my shoulder. "I miss her a lot too, unnie. Is that strange?"

"I don't know, honey. I just hope it's not"

"Anyway, I saw you and Jisoo unnie at the Wake"

"Yeah?" I say, taking a sip of the beer again.

"Did you forgive her?" Lisa wonders.

"I don't know" I stare into the void.

"Why don't you know?" Lisa demands.

"I just don't know, okay?" I diss. "If course you know, unnie" Lisa assures me. "You want Jisoo unnie. That's what you want. Your family back. But your ego is so fucking huge that you feel you shouldn't be the first to tell her that"

"Well, if she's really part of OUR family" I  pause, stressing the word Our clearly to her face. "She won't walk away"

"Yeah because you asked her to!" Lisa stares in disbelief, practically raising her voice at me.

"You don't yell at me" I scowl, snatching the beer bottle away from her hand. But she wouldn't bother to give it back.

"You started it first"

"Well, if she loves me and Bella that much she'll fight for us. Not just randomly signing down the divorce paper I've sent her earlier"

"She did it because she thought it would make you happy. She loves you a lot unnie. You know that. We all know that"

"And why are you talking on her behalf?" I raise my eyebrows. "If she fucking wants me back, she'd talk to me and not you"

"Because she did TALK but you didn't listen"

I roll my eyes at that statement.

"I know she's your best friend, Lisa. But I'm your unnie. Can you please this one fucking time, you stand up your ass for me?"

"You don't understand" Lisa explains. "I love both of you very much. I just don't want you to be like this"

"I think we have had enough conversation, Lisa" I fold my arms as I eye her.

"Good night" I mutter coldly before retreating to my room.

Jisoo's POV

I cuddle with her until she falls asleep. I don't know where her mommy is right now but soon after she drifts into the dreamland, I kiss her one last time before leaving the bed.

Out of blue, the door springs open and Jennie's eyes fall on mine. She seems half shocked at first before pulling herself together.

"Hi, Jen" I greet her with my goofy smile. "Just checking on Bella. She wasn't sleeping when you left. Just make sure that she's truly asleep when you leave her next time for ...."

I almost get a heart attack when Jennie wraps her arms around my body, her face around the crook of my neck, sobbing.

"Why do you really need to fucking love me, Chu?"

She asks me. I know she knows the answer already. But I'm not tired to repeat her the answer again.

"Because it's simply you" I say, cupping her cheeks with my hands. "Because I know I'm meant for you, Jen"

"Then why did you hurt me?" Jennie bursts into tears as she asks me. "Why did you cheat on me ? Am I not enough for you, Jisoo?"

" I didn't cheat on you, Jen" I assure her. "She kissed me because she was drunk. And you know me better than anyone else out there"

"It hurt me so fucking much when I saw that picture"

"I know, Jen. Trust me. I'm hurt too"

"And then you left us"

"I didn't. I just knew you needed space, Jen. That's why I left. But I never stop myself from loving you and Bella"

"I miss you like hell, Jisoo. And it hurts me so much at night when I wake up and finding out that you are not there next to me"

I smile at her comment. She misses me.

"DON'T YOU DARE SMILE LIKE THAT KIM JISOO" she smacks my left arm and I groan in response.

"Shit" Jennie mumbles quickly as she grabs my arm. "Did I hurt it badly? Jisoo, I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry"

"Don't be, Jen. It's not that hurt at all"

Jennie stares at me, and I do the same thing at her until we both lean in, closing the gap between us.

"I start to think we are idiots for not talking to one another because of this petty issue" Jennie lets out an awkward laugh.

"You are no idiot, Jennie. I am" I tell her.

She glares at me before turning her lips into a small smile. "Yeah. My idiot"