Oh, We Are Married?

Heartbreak

Chaeyoung's POV

I wake up with puffy eyes, bulbous nose, and a painfully sore throat. My eyes sting when I try to keep them opened so I shut them off immediately for a few seconds.

My mind is still in a great mess. I cannot think of anything else except the moment when the doctor told me about my infertility; the moment I saw a slight heartbreak all over Lisa's face; the way her jaws fell apart when she heard the news but immediately pull herself together so that she won't hurt me.

Without I know it, my tears start to flow again. And I don't even know what to do to stop it. I cry and cry, tossing everything on the bed to the floor. I am angry at Lisa.

How can she still have the nerve to stick with me when she knows I can never give her what she wants the most; a family. Like what Jennie has given Jisoo.

I cannot make her happy and she refuses to accept that. She knows deep down that we will somehow be happy with just both of us, but I don't want to fall for that.

I know that's not what she imagined her future looks like. I know because she told me about her future, and I feel bad as hell for breaking her heart and shattering her dream.

"Baby?" Lisa calls as she walks into the room. She wears a white Celine crop top and a pair of long pants that fit her lovely curve. Her dark hair glows against her skin.

"You are awake?" she smiles as she crawls up the bed and wraps an arm around my neck, nuzzling her nose against the side of my head. "I've ordered pizza. It's on the table if you are hungry" she adds but I remain silent.

I don't want to talk to her. In fact, I cannot stand looking at her. How can she treat me the same when she knows how different things will be from now on? That we will never have the opportunity to have our own family? Or perhaps she is just faking it, trying to make me feel better when she's in fact breaking? I don't know but one thing for sure, I don't want to be in the same space with her. I need a break. I know I need it.

"I wanna go home" I tell her.

"This is home, baby" she confirms. "Our home"

"My parents" I say, blinking my tears away. "I want to back to them"

"Oh" Lisa sighs. It takes her quite a while before she nods, agreeing.

"I'll send you then"

"No. The driver is enough"

"Baby" Lisa speaks, pinching the bridge of her nose with closed eyes. "Please don't overcomplicate things. Let me send you"

"No" I stand on my feet, folding my arms. My eyes are still not looking in her direction.

"Baby"

"Lisa, please. I need time" I start to sob and she wraps her arms around my figure even tighter. "Just please. I need to be alone"

"Baby" Lisa sobs. I can feel her tears falling on my chest as she places her face there. "Please don't push me aside. Please, let me help you"

"I'm not pushing you aside" I yell, pushing her away. "I just need some time to figure things"

"What things, baby?" she asks. "We have everything figured out"

"Lisa, please" I plead as I sink to my feet. I cannot stand this anymore. I cannot look at her face without ever feeling guilty so I plead for her again and again to let me go.

"I just need time" I cry. I know she's watching me. And I know I am breaking her heart when I do that.

But everything around us is falling apart.

And I cannot help it.

"Fine" she finally says. Her voice is hoarse unlike always. "If that's what you want, Baby"

I nod silently with tears running down my cheek.

"But always remember this" Lisa says with a sad voice. Her eyes are on anything but me.

"You would always be the one I keep in my heart, no matter what. And nobody has the power to change that"

She turns her heels and start walking. Seconds later, I head the front door gently shut. She must be out. As I wipe my tears, I start to pack my things. I want to be away, for maybe some time. I know we both need a break from each other. 

•••

"Hey, Rosie" my mom greets me first thing after the car stops. I hurry to wrap my arms around her neck. "I missed you a lot, you know" she says and I just give her a small smile. My dad greets me next, he kisses me a lot that I have to push him away. 

"Don't blame me for all the kisses" he warns playfully. "I have missed you for so long"

"Then, why didn't you bring mom to see me?" I ask as he helps me carry my suitcase. 

"Well, we are very busy, honey. And besides, mom thinks we shouldn't disturb you and Lisa"

I laugh at his excuse.

"Anyway, she's not coming?" my mom asks. 

I feel like there's a lump in my throat. 

"Umm... work, mom. You know her"

"Of course" my mom laughs. "Anyway, it's so good to see you back, Rosie"

"Me too, mom"

•••

My parents bring me back to my old bedroom and I decide to not join them for dinner. My head is throbbing and all I need is just a sleep so soon as I wash myself, I crawl into the bed and pass out.