Lisa jolts awake in the middle of the night. Her body drenching in sweat as she pants for air. Next to her, the blonde is awakened too, her eyes searching for Lisa's eyes soon as she turns the light on her nightstand on.
"Lisa, baby?" she calls softly and that's when Lisa literally breaks down inside her wife's embrace. "I'm sorry" she echoes as droplets of tears start to wet the front side of Roseanne's pajamas. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. I hate myself. I fucking hate myself"
"Hey" the blonde coos, tightening the grip around her wife's waist. "It's okay. It's okay. Calm down. I'm here"
"I'm so scared" Lisa gulps as Roseanne runs her fingers through Lisa's short hair, trying her best to soothe the Thai down. "What makes you so scared, my love?"
"That I hurt you" Lisa replies with tears in her eyes. "That I fucking hurt you when I promised you I wouldn't"
"Oh, my love" Roseanne sighs as she kisses Lisa with an intention to shut her up. It does the trick. Lisa is a lot calmer after she pulls away, even though her fingertips are still shaking. "You hurt me, yes. But you also promised me that you'll heal me, okay? And I'm alright. I'll heal but I can't do that when you keep blaming yourself for what happened. That night" Roseanne holds Lisa's hand. "That's just a mistake. A mistake we shouldn't talk about anymore"
"I don't deserve you"
"You do, in fact"
"Rosie..."
"Lisa" her wife utters softly, framing her face with her palms. "Listen. You gave me everything I ever asked in life. You gave me home. You gave me love. You gave me family. You even gave me your name. You gave me everything, Lisa. And I would want in return to give you one thing; my trust. And I trust you a lot. I know you fucked up. I know you're sad about that but it's all in the past. Let it go. Come to the present and the future. The kids and I will be there. And we won't leave you if that's what you fear"
"I..." Lisa pauses, choking on her own grief. But Roseanne doesn't care. She looks at the Thai with soft eyes and slowly she pulls Lisa into her hug and lulls her to sleep.
***
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