Divination (Joker x Batman x OC)

Chapter 80

"Still working with the Batman, I see," the Joker's voice scared Adriana when she walked into her kitchen carrying bags from the pharmacy.

It was dark and all of the lights were off. She turned on the kitchen light.

"Shit! You scared me to death!" she said and sat the bags down.

"My sincerest apologies," he said, though he didn't sound sincere at all.

"Seriously?" she sighed. "That was over a week ago and you're just now bringing it up? We both went to stop the casino heist and...we ran into each other. If you think we were out to get you and are conspiring against you, something would have happened you by now, don't you think?"

"He's had countless opportunities to use the laughing gas on me...well if he's smart, he's had countless opportunities," he said. "He has it after all."

Adriana was sure that the Batman would not use the laughing gas poison on the Joker. Time was going by and he had not attempted to use it yet.

"If you really think he won't kill you, then what's the problem? You have a problem with me?" she asked.

He tilted his head.

"Well I'll tell you what," she said. "I have a problem with you."

"Oh?" he said inattentively.

"Yes," she said and slapped his hand away from the plastic bag he was trying to peer into. "Sit on the couch. Take off your shoes and socks."

"You don't like my shoes?" he asked and looked down. "Too bad. You have poor taste. They're vintage. 1924. Authentic."

"It's not the shoes," she said. "And I do not have poor taste. Go."

She looked through the bags as he went, looking for the correct one and then followed behind him a minute later.

"I said socks too," she said and sat on the coffee table in front of the couch.

He frowned and pulled them off. She sat the bag on her lap and began to rummage through it.  She found the clippers.

"Anh uh.." he said cautiously, looking at what she was holding. "Where do you put that?"

"Hahahaa!" she burst out laughing and leaned back, her laughter rising to the ceiling. Once she stopped she looked at him and he looked confused about what was so funny. "Are you kidding? It's a nail clipper!"

"Mhm," he said as she grabbed his hand and began to clip his fingernails quickly, catching each nail and tossing it into an empty plastic bag. Then she grabbed the other hand and did the same. His nails were long and thick.

"Much better, but not quite done," she said and pulled out a metal nail file. She began to file his nails.

"Enough," he said and yanked his hand away once he felt the grinding against his nail.

"Look, I know this is uncomfortable but so are your nails," she said. "Seriously, these things are like claws. You're slicing me up."

"So..." he said as the grinding began again and she swiped the file back and forth on his fingers. "That why my shoes are off?"

"Yes," she said, looking down at the thumb nail she was filing. "I'll just clip your toenails. I won't file them. Don't worry."

"Anything else?" he asked when she finally lifted his foot onto her lap.

"Huh?" she asked, not knowing what he meant. "Gosh your toenails are like velociraptor's talons."

"I see," he said and she looked back up at him after clamping off another nail.