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all about benji q&a

*Will and RJ do a Q&A all about Benji! I hope you guys enjoy! Love • Bree 🌈

Will and RJ are getting ready to film another Q&A! Benji and Coralei are taking a nap, so Will and RJ are going to film with no distractions.

"Hey guys! Today we are going to do a Q&A all about Benji. Since we did one with Coralei we decide to do one about Benji." Will says and RJ rubs Will's back.

"These questions are going to be personal ones but we wanted to share Benji's story because we wanted to help people who is going through the same situation as us. And, also share about the foster care system." RJ says.

"If you guys want a Q&A with just Benji let us know, Benji loves to talk to the camera. This Q&A has questions he shouldn't be hearing so that's why we waited until both kids were asleep." Will says as he holds RJ's hand.

• What happened to Benji's biological parents?
"We get this question a lot and I think we answered it in a vlog, but I don't remember. Benji's parents died in a house fire. The fire was caused by a cigarette not being put out. His parents did drugs and they were high when this happened." Will says.

"Benji was in the house in his bedroom and luckily a neighbor remembered that a baby lived in the house and called 911 to try to save everybody. Benji was the only survivor and that is why he was put into foster care." RJ says.

• Why didn't Benji's grandparents or other family members adopt him?
"This is another question we get a ton. We do not want to exploit Benji's grandparents and other biological family members, so we won't get into too much detail. They are very generous to let Benji go into foster care and be adopted. It was a hard decision for them." Will says and RJ nods.

"Benji does not have contact with his biological family. They didn't have the resources to take care of a very young child. Also they have their struggles and it was a hard decision for them to put Benji into foster care. They know that Benji is in good hands and will grow up happy. Benji's caseworker keeps contact with them, we have no contact with them." RJ says.  

• Does Benji remember his biological parents?
"I think he does, but we haven't asked him. I don't want to trigger him." Will says.

"He does talk about his mom a lot. He says stuff like, oh my mom loved to do this with me and she loved this. Benji also has talked about his parents doing drugs, so that's a bad memory he has of them. We try to talk about the great memories, but there aren't a lot of great memories sadly. RJ says and Will nods.

"He doesn't talk about his biological dad much and if he does it's in fear." Will says.

• Will, does you having PTSD help Benji cope with his PTSD?
"Absolutely. I understand what he is going through and I can help him through the panic attacks and other things that PTSD can do to you. Even though why I have PTSD and why Benji has PTSD aren't the same, it's the same condition. Benji knows I can help him and RJ can help too." Will says.

"Benji's symptoms are not like Will's usually. Like he wets the bed, he has nightmares, different sounds or things trigger him. Will's is mostly anxiety related." RJ says and Will nods.

• I notice that Benji is more attached to Will then RJ. Does that bother you RJ?
"It doesn't bother me at all. I understand why Benji is hesitant towards men." RJ says and Will nods.

"Benji's biological father was abusive based on what Benji has said to people and what his adoption caseworker has said." Will says.

"Will is like the "mother" between the two of us. I guess because Will can carry children. I don't know, but Benji considers Will motherly I think. Benji and I have been bonding a lot lately since Coralei has been born." RJ says happily.

"I know, RJ and Benji have been glued together lately, it's so cute. We both have a strong bond with Benji and that's what we want. We want him to trust us and not be scared." Will says.

• Has Benji ever been aggressive towards anyone?
"No, not at all. He's a sweetheart. We love him so much." Will says and RJ nods.

"He does have tantrums, like all toddlers do. He does have his rough moments, but he is not aggressive at all. He is really loving with Coralei." RJ says.

• I hope I don't sound rude, but why does Benji have his own food basket in the kitchen?
"This is not a rude question at all. Will and I have shown you guys bits and pieces of Benji's behavior with food, but not a lot. So, Benji was not given the proper nutrition that a baby and toddler would need for the first almost two years of his life. Benji learned to hoard food for later because sometimes he wouldn't get three meals a day and he knows that he would get something to eat." RJ says and Will nods.

"Benji needs constant reminders that he will get food, and that he doesn't have to hoard his food. This has been something we work very hard at everyday. He is doing very well, but he still hoards food sometimes. When we got Benji he wasn't at the height and weight he should be at three years old. He just got to the proper weight and height." Will says.

"We get asked a lot why does Benji have a huge appetite? He is three he shouldn't be eating like an adult. This is why Benji has a big appetite. He is afraid that will be the only meal. Plus, he is catching up on nutrition he didn't get when he was little, he is catching up on growth as well. His pediatrician is keeping an eye on his weight and Benji is fine. We don't force Benji to eat the amount he does. He's going through a growth spurt right now and I swear he has eaten six times a day I feel like." RJ says.

• Would you ever tell Benji what happened and would you let him talk to his biological relatives?
"I think once Benji is older and he understands what happened to his parents fully. Like he knows they are gone and he knows they were in the house with him. But he doesn't know they were on drugs and what they were doing was wrong. Will and I want him to be fully understand what happened and that it was not his fault." RJ says.

"He would probably be older then ten. I want him to fully understand and not get confused. I don't want him to know at too young of an age and get scared. Also, it depends on how his biological family is. I don't want my son around people who are making bad choices. Also, we are not going to push Benji to talk to them." Will says and RJ.

"Well, those are all the questions we have today! We hope you guys enjoyed learning about our baby boy. We love you guys!" RJ says and Will nods. "We are going to vlog a lot more we have a lot of awesome things coming up, so get ready! Bye guys!" Will says and RJ waves.