adoption q&a

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*Will and RJ answering questions about adoption! I hope you guys enjoy! Love • Bree 💜*

"Hey guys! We are going to do an adoption Q&A because we he gotten a lot of questions since we adopted Benji and shared our journey with him so far. So, Will and I decided why not do a Q&A! We asked on Twitter and here's what we got!" RJ says as he pulls his iPhone out.

"If you are wondering where Benji is, he is at preschool and Coralei is taking her nap. Hopefully we can get through this Q&A without interruptions. We will see!" Will says as RJ giggles.

Dobby begins to bark loudly. "Dobby! Shh!" RJ says as Dobby runs over to him.

• Why did you decide to adopt?
"We decided to adopt because we were having trouble getting pregnant. We wanted to be parents badly. We were up in the air about having kids for a long time but one day we both looked at each other and wanted to have a baby." Will says and RJ nods.

"We thought about adopting before the year mark of trying to have a baby. We thought about adopting a little baby." RJ says.

• How was the adoption process?
"It is a lot of work then I expected it to be. Will did all the research. It is stressful at times but if you are prepared and know what's next then you will be fine." RJ says.

"Adopting through the foster care system is a little easier and a lot cheaper. So, if you were curious on the route we took to adopt Benji, that's what it was! Foster care adoption can take a long time though and a lot of kids leave foster care and go back to live with their birth parents." Will says.

• Did you tell anyone you were adopting?
"No. We couldn't really say anything to anybody. I understand why they don't want the future parents to say anything, but I feel like talking to our parents would have helped calmed us down during the stressful times." RJ says.

"We told our parents right before Benji came home. I think it was two days before he officially came home. They were shocked and so excited." Will says happily.

"I thought our parents were gonna pass out when we told them about Benji." RJ says. "Same!" Will says as he giggles.

• How did Benji react when you guys first met him?
"He was very very shy. He hid behind his case work for about fifteen minutes and then he came around and started talking to us." Will says.

"Everytime he meets somebody new he has to be reminded that they are not going to hurt him. But, he opened up right away and he didn't do that with anybody else. His caseworker knew we were the best family for him." RJ says and Will nods.

"He still has trouble with that sometimes, but not often. He has made so much progress." Will says.

• Were there any other kids that pecked our interest before deciding on Benji?
"We looked at a lot of pictures of the kids for adoption and Benji's caught my eye instantly. I knew that was gonna be our son. It took RJ a little bit, but once we watched videos and to see him talking and such, we both knew that's our boy." Will says.

"Yeah, as soon as Will saw his little picture he said RJ this is our son! And I'm like Will, we haven't even looked at ten pictures yet! Plus, we wanted a baby. So, I looked at the rest while Will just watched." RJ says with a chuckle.

"I finally convinced him and we started the adoption process." Will says as he smiles at RJ.

• Were you guys scared to adopt Benji when you guys found out about his past?
"Absolutely not." Will and RJ say in unison. "I feel like kids in the foster care system have a lot of horrendous stigma that they are awful kids or they are "messed up in the head" or crazy. They aren't. They have been through a lot of pain and suffering already and just want a family." RJ says.

"I see Benji as a little me, to be honest. I knew I can help him with his PTSD." Will says.

• Does Benji know he is adopted and does it bother him?
"He does know he is adopted but I don't think he truly understands what it means. But he knows that he didn't come out of Will's tummy like Coralei did. Also, he remembers his parents, so I don't know if he thinks they adopted him too or what. We don't talk about his parents much with him." RJ says and Will nods.

"I don't think it bothers him. And if it did, he hasn't said anything. When he meets new people he sometimes says, I am adopted and this is my Daddy and Papi. It's cute." Will says.

• Will you tell Coralei Benji is adopted?
"Absolutely! I don't know what age we will tell her though. Obviously Coralei is a baby and doesn't care about anything except being a baby. Maybe when she's like five. Maybe older. I don't know, I have to research it honestly. It depends on her and her maturity level at the time is when we are gonna tell her." Will says.

"But, we don't want her to think Benji's different or anything like that. He is her big brother and it doesn't matter if he is biological or not. They are siblings no matter what." RJ says and Will nods.

• How did your parents react to you guys adopting?
"I'd say our parents reacted very well. They were excited to become grandparents either way and they couldn't wait to see pictures of Benji and talk to him. They treat Benji like he is biological and as they should. Benji loves both sets of his grandparents dearly." RJ says and Will smiles.

"I was scared that they would react badly and they didn't at all. My mom and stepdad were a crying mess. They have embraced Benji and they love him to death and spoil him rotten." Will says with a grin. Coralei begins to cry in the background.

"Well, we almost made it through the whole Q&A without interruptions!" RJ says as he bounces Coralei.

"Hi honey bear, are you hungry?" Will asks Coralei. Coralei coos as she looks at Will. "It's almost time for her lunch, isn't it?" Will asks Coralei.

"One more question, baby girl." RJ says as he rubs Coralei's back.

• Would you guys consider adopting again?
"RJ and I haven't decided if our family is completed or not. We haven't decided anything yet, since Coralei is only a few months old. I'm not sure if we would adopt again. If we didn't get pregnant with Coralei we would have adopted again." Will says as RJ nods.

"Adoption is wonderful way to add to your family and to help kids that are familyless. But I think we would adopt again. Depends on what happens. But if you want to adopt all your the kids for your family, go for it! It's awesome!" RJ says as he kisses Coralei's cheek.

"That's all the questions we have for today! We hope you guys enjoyed today's video!" Will says as Coralei fusses again. "Bye guys!" RJ says as he waves Coralei's hand as she coos.

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