F1,F2 and F3 One Shots Book 9 (REQUESTS CLOSED)

229 - Oscar Piastri

Requested by alelealeooo

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TRIGGER WARNING

Mentions of a minor racing accident and insecurity

229: "How can you love me when I can't even love myself?"

Dragging your feet through the paddock in Melbourne, the paddock of your boyfriend, Oscar's home Grand Prix, tears were welling up in your eyes at the thought of how much you felt you had let him down that weekend. In that moment, you felt as though it was a walk of shame from the medical centre after your relatively minor crash to your McLaren garage because of the number of points which you were set to score if you hadn't have been too eager and went for an aggressive lunge up the inside, sending you spinning into the gravel, speeding towards the barriers and during your walk, you let out a shaky gasp of surprise under your breath as you were approaching the set up of the F1 live post-race show, where Oscar was currently in the midst of co-hosting with Rosanna Tennant. You lowered your head at the sight of him, your palms sticking together after you had tightly clasped your hands as you attempted to massively pick up your pace and rush behind the desk without Oscar noticing. However, before you were able to do this, your PR rushed over to you once she had spotted you, standing in front of you, causing you to stop dead in your tracks.

"Our top priority was to make sure you're alright and now that we know you are, I've organised for you to go on the post-race live show to explain what happened out on track," she said with urgency, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as she ushered you closer to the desk. "I thought it would be best for you to go here before the media pen because you will already have an audience of thousands since it's a live show."

Your heart may have began to pummel against your chest at the realisation that you were being forced into being near Oscar, but the one tiny positive which you were able to take from this was that you were approaching the desk which Oscar and Rosanna were standing behind from the right, meaning that as Oscar spoke to Rosanna, he had his back to you.

"Speaking of McLaren, yes I agree with what you're saying, Lando scored a decent number of points, but I'm just going to maybe lose my professionalism ever so slightly for a minute and ask this as her partner, rather than like a journalist, have we heard anything more about Y/N yet?" Oscar asked softly, trying his best to limit the eagerness in his voice as well as the speed of his words. "Please just tell me she's alr-"

As Oscar was speaking, you had arrived at the desk from behind him, you almost needing to hold your breath to prevent your gasps for air being audible. As you stood still, Rosanna made eye contact with you and that made it feel so much more real that you were going to need to confront Oscar, causing you to make the decision to playfully poke him in the arm from behind, you wanting to be the one to inform him that you were there, this being what made Oscar stop talking mid sentence.

"Oh my God!" He exclaimed with elation, being unable to contain his giddiness as he clapped his free hand over his mouth at the sight of you.

Oscar then crashed his microphone down against the desk with a lot more force than he intended as he wrapped the arm of his now free hand tightly around you. Oscar let out a very audible sigh of relief as he pressed your body as closely to his own as he was able.

"I'm so sorry, but you've got no idea just how glad I am that she's standing back beside me where she belongs," said Oscar apologetically to both Rosanna and the fans once he had pulled away from you, the two of you standing side by side as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders whilst picking his microphone back up.

Rosanna allowed Oscar to interview you completely independently, not wanting to get away of the beautiful moment which the two of you were creating. Oscar was beaming the entire time as he thought about how he would never take being with you for granted ever again, however, whilst Oscar's spirits kept rising, yours kept falling. You couldn't shake your worries that you had not only let McLaren down, but also Oscar. It was almost impossible for you to keep a smile on your face as you answered the questions which Oscar was asking you as professionally as he was able and you may have been able to convince everyone else that your joy was genuine, but you weren't fooling Oscar, who was urgently knocking on the door of your motorhome once he had finished the show.

"Do you want to talk about what happened in the race?" Oscar asked you sympathetically, taking one of your hands in his once you were both sitting on your sofa. "I know we already did, but with no cameras this time, so you can be completely open and honest about your feelings and just let it all out."

"How can you love me when I can't even love myself?" You asked with sorrow, tears welling up in your eyes as you spoke. "You know I've always doubted how talented everyone says I am, but I hate myself for getting into the position where I've let you down at your home Grand Prix. You said that you would be so proud of me when I finished, but there's no way of that being the case now, is there?"

Oscar wrapped both of his arms tightly around you, holding you as closely to his chest as he was able once more as he began to soothingly run his fingers through your hair. His heart started to ache as he did because of the gentle sobs which you were starting to let out.

"I wish you'd stop feeling that way, Y/N. I wish you'd begin to believe in your own ability," responded Oscar with sadness as he cupped your cheeks, lifting your head up in order for you to be able to look at him. "You're one of the most talented young drivers in the world and yes, your result is disappointing, but you wouldn't be a proper racing driver if you didn't take the opportunity to overtake which you thought you had. I'm still so so proud of you for managing to get out of the car, for managing to pass all of the checks they would have done in the medical centre. Of course I would have liked it if you would have gotten some good points at my home race, but the most important thing is that you're alright and that you're sitting here beside me."

Those words were exactly what you needed to hear, it being your turn to let out a long, loud sigh of relief as a broad smile finally spread across your lip. As it did, you leant back, wrapping an arm around Oscar's front as you rested your head in the crook of his neck. The two of you stayed like this for a few minutes, enjoying how much emptier the paddock now was, meaning that you would be less likely to be interrupted, before you left a few minutes later out of guilt, yourself and Oscar deciding that you would help your respective teams pack up, rather than leaving all of the work to them.