F1,F2 and F3 One Shots Book 9 (REQUESTS CLOSED)

627,634 - Lewis Hamilton

Requested by lisabensow

Taglist
patka_1311

TRIGGER WARNING
OCD

Disclaimer
This was written the Wednesday before Imola 

627: "I can't stop these compulsions, but being around you certainly helps me to deal with them."

634: "I know I was furious with you, but not everyone can say their partner asked for their forgiveness during a live TV interview."

After hours of yelling and commotion, silence was suddenly ringing in your ears after your boyfriend, Lewis had left your shared Monegasque apartment, slamming the door behind him as he did. Tears began to surge down your cheeks as you sank down onto your sofa, burying your head in your hands as you were unable to internally stop blaming yourself for your argument with Lewis because it was in relation to your mental health condition. Since you were consumed by guilt, you were unable to recognise the fact that it should have been Lewis who was more accepting of your OCD, you just being willing to do anything to be in his arms and make everything go away in that moment. You hated yourself from the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours which you had, you knowing that due to what you were doing, Lewis couldn't take being around you anymore, you blaming yourself even though you were unable to help this.

The day of the argument was Wednesday, the day which Lewis left for Imola and over the next few days, your low mood was causing your obsessions and compulsions to become even more severe, you just being unable to accept things such as that the door was locked and that the items around your apartment were straight and neat as well as you being consumed by thoughts of wonder, you worst obsessive thought always being wondering whether there was something which you had to worry about, you being unable to accept in those moments that you would certainly know about it if you did. Due to how much all of this had been consuming your mind since Wednesday, by the time Sunday arrived, you had no idea if you had the energy or headspace to be able to watch Lewis' race and knew what was going on, but because of how your argument didn't change the fact that you still loved him more than anything, you were willing to give it a try. Your obsessions and compulsions had caused you to feel completely drained and it was because of this, that you were finding it almost impossible to keep your eyes open during the pre-race build up show. However, your eyes suddenly snapped wide open at the realisation that his voice was filling your ears.

"Lewis, I want desperately to be excited for you right now. I want to congratulate you for managing to get your first race weekend of the season and for the car's massive improvements this weekend, but myself and many others can't help but realise that you're not yourself," the interviewer began with concern, causing you to scoff under your breath because you didn't think he deserved anyone's sympathy. "Your result doesn't seem to have lifted your mood in the slightest and since your fans are worried, are you going to comment on why that is?"

Lewis then took a shaky deep breath, your mouth hanging slightly open with shock at the sight of the tears which were welling up in his eyes, tears which he was rapidly blinking to hold back, this being the most vulnerable which you were able to remember seeing Lewis in an interview.

"It was amazing to win the race and I'm very grateful for all of the hard work the team has put in to make that happen, but before leaving to come here, I was a complete idiot and hurt Y/N, the woman who I love more than anything," responded Lewis softly, his words causing your heart to melt and for tears of your own to well up in your eyes, you considering this to be the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for you before. "She's been struggling mentally lately and rather than being supportive, I let my frustrations get the better of me and let her down when she needed me the most. Baby, if you're watching this, I don't expect you to forgive me straight away, but I promise you that if you give me the chance, I will do everything I can to understand more about your condition, to be more patient and reassuring."

Those words caused you to feel the happiest which you had in a long while, your heart pounding against your chest, but for once, in the best possible way as you thought about how eager you were for Lewis to get home the following day, you already imagining how you were going to fling your arms tightly around him and not be willing to let go for a long while.

Time may have dragged until he arrived home, but he was making his way through the door of your apartment before you knew it, you rushing to wrap your arms around the back of his neck before he had even had chance to let go of his cases.

"This is a very pleasant surprise, but certainly not one which I was expecting," responded Lewis with guilt, his smile narrowing whilst he gazed down at you apologetically as you held each other at arms length.

"I certainly didn't expect to forgive you so soon either and I know I was furious with you, but not everyone can say their partner asked for their forgiveness during a live TV interview," you responded affectionately, closing the distance between your bodies once more as the interview replayed in your mind, once again melting your heart. "And besides, I can't stop these compulsions, but being around you certainly helps me to deal with them because nothing or no one can possibly make me happier and take my mind off things. Wait, we're definitely good though, aren't we? There's nothing I need to worry about between us?"

"Of course we are. Let's just forget that the argument ever happened," responded Lewis with a warm chuckle, pulling your head down onto his chest, before he pressed a long, lingering kiss to the top of it.

"So, we're definitely good. You're definitely not still mad with me?" You added with panic, before letting out a deflated sigh because of your damm doubtful thoughts again.

"You'd know if I was mad with you," replied Lewis comfortingly as he cupped your cheeks in order to lift your head up for you to be able to look into his eyes. "I know you're probably going to need to hear that another fifty times tonight, but as I promised you, I'll start giving you that reassurance and make sure that I get the message drilled into your mind no matter what it takes."

You let out a sigh of relief as you rested your head in the crook of Lewis' neck, you knowing that you were able to trust Lewis' word and that with his help, your obsessions and compulsions may not go away, but would become easier to manage.