A C T O R S || OS 02

90. Timothee Chalamet | Insecurities

By : princechalamet | Tumblr

Yo!!!!! Is it possible to put in a timothee Chalamet request? Could it be one where the reader is really insecure about her body (like stretch marks, boobs, stomach,thighs) and believes she isn't good enough for Timmy and comments are really mean and she gives up and tries to break up with him but he having none of that and then she tells him everything and he reassures her that she is perfect the way she is!!! Overall it goes from some angst to super fluffy!!!!ofc u don't have to do it!❤️❤️❤️

cw: some language, hurtful words/online bullying, hateful thinking/insecurities about body

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Your cold cheek was pressed up against the fogged window pane, your empty gaze watching the cars and people below you. Drizzles of rain swirled down the glass, as you turned to stare at your blurred reflection. You sighed and pulled your knees to your chest, your back pressed against the white painted windowsill. Your attention was pulled to your phone, a wave of anxiety and dread rising inside of you. You knew looking at their comments was a massive mistake, but you couldn't help but let yourself get drawn to reading each and every one.

You shakily picked up your phone, it's light illuminating your face in the dimly lit bedroom. You squinted your tired eyes, taking a moment to really think about what you were doing. Maybe you shouldn't look.

You sighed once again, looking back out of the window and watching as the rain turned heavier, more and more droplets of water hugging one another. You bit your lip and opened Twitter, hands shaking a little more. You carefully typed your name into the search bar, and began to scroll through the many results.

You smiled a little at a few nice and funny tweets. There were also a few saying how cute you and Timothée were together. You smiled a little. Maybe you weren't all that bad after all. As you scrolled further, your grin instantly dropped into a frown, the dazzle behind your eyes fading momentarily.

'Can Y/N Y/L/N just fucking leave already, Timothée is mine.'

"Honestly I'm just going to say it, Timothée is way out of Y/N's league, she does not deserve this beautiful man'

'Ew Y/N is sooo gross and ugly, like she looks like a rat next to Timmy!!!! He's a god and she's literally a TROLL'

'Hahaha did u see this pic of Y/N and Timmy?! *inserts pic* she looks massive next to him !!'

'Y/N's thighs are huuuge next to Timmy's like damn, sis must flatten him lmao'

'I didn't realise Timothée was into fat girls lol, he should be dating models not fatty's like her , lose some weight Y/N'

Your heart dropped at each nasty word they directed towards you, tears pricking your eyelids as you read more and more. You eventually threw your phone across the room, it bouncing and landing on the bed. You buried your face in your hands and cried harder, your shoulders shaking, breathing ragged. You felt utterly broken and disgusted with yourself.

All you wanted was for people to like you and appreciate you, but every little thing you did was just torn down by many of Timothée's fans. As you continued to cry, your vision blurred from the tears, you slid off the windowsill and stood in front of your full length mirror. Your hands balled up into fists beside you as you angrily stared at your reflection, your mind conjuring up the horrible words from the tweets.

Your eyes landed upon your thighs, your hips, as your hands squeezed your waist and stomach. You rolled the hem of your top up a little to reveal your bare skin, cringing at a few stretch marks which decorated your hips. You angrily squeezed your skin harder, your nails digging into your flesh and leaving small nail marks. You cried harder and sat down on the edge of your bed, looking down at your thighs again. Your mind told you how gross they were, your eyes watching how they flattened out a little and pressed together as you sat.

You covered your eyes with your hands so that you couldn't see yourself any longer, the feeling of your clothes upon your skin becoming uncomfortable. You hated the way they clung to you.

You felt utterly devastated with yourself.

***

Timothée had come home late that night, creeping through the front door to make sure he didn't wake you. However, you weren't asleep. You had stayed up, sitting motionless on the sofa, a cup of cold tea staring at you from the table.

Timothée creased his brows as he noticed a light coming from the living room, as he kicked his shoes off to inspect.

"Hello mon ange, are you okay?" He asked you, instantly noticing that something was upsetting you. You turned your head slowly to look at him, your stare completely blank, eyes bloodshot. "What's wrong?" He asked worriedly as he rushed to the sofa, sitting next to you and pulling you into his chest.

You didn't respond or move, just keeping as still as a statue. Timothée wrapped his arms around you tightly, pressing little kisses to your head, right above your ear.

"I can't be with you anymore." You told him blankly, staring straight in front of you. Timothée suddenly stopped, freezing up for a second. "What?" He asked quietly, his voice cracking a little. "I-I can't be..." you trailed off as a wave of emotions took over you again, tears streaming down your face as you began to violently cry into his arms.

"Shh, shh" he whispered into your ear, as he pulled your head into his shoulder, running his hands softly through your hair. "Timmy, you d-deserve someone better than me" you cried to him, "you're way too g-good for me, a-and and" you hiccuped violently, "I hate myself!" You shouted loudly into his shoulder as you continued to sob loudly.

Tears streamed down Timothée's cheeks as he listened to you berate yourself, it broke him up knowing that you thought about yourself this horrible way. He let you cry for a while longer before softly pulling you off his shoulder, and wiping a couple of your tears away with his thumb. He softly shook his head, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and staring straight into your cloudy eyes.

"You know what I see when I look at you?" He asked you quietly. You shook your head. "I see the most beautiful, caring, kind, and angelic person. I see someone who laughs at all my stupid jokes, someone who cares for others, someone so selfless. I see someone who wants to make everyone laugh and feel good, someone who's smile could light up any room. I see someone so beautiful and incredible on the inside and the out. I see someone who gives me butterflies whenever I'm with you, someone who has the prettiest eyes and the best smile. And of course, a fucking sexy body"

You chuckled a little at his last sentence, a slight blush on your cheeks.

"All of you is absolutely perfect to me Y/N, and nobody, absolutely nobody else could make me think otherwise. I've never loved anyone the way I love you, you're honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me and I only want you, Y/N" Timothée said, sincerity intertwined into his words, little tear drops on his lashes.

You smiled a little as he finished speaking, a few more tears slipping down your cheeks. "I-I love you so much Timmy" you replied, as you flung yourself back into his chest, his arms instantly wrapping around your waist. "I know I can't force you to see yourself the way I see you, but I'll help you get there. You don't deserve to hate yourself, not someone as utterly beautiful as you" Timothée whispered in your ear, as you clung onto him.

Timothée let you wrap your legs around his waist as you sat on his lap, as he kissed your jawline, your chin and finally your lips. You kissed back, letting his tongue slip inside your mouth. You wrapped your arms around his neck, as his hand slid under your shirt. You flinched a little, Timothée noticing your reaction. He pulled away a little and looked into your eyes again.

"tu es tellement belle, Y/N" Timothée told you as his fingers traced the stretch marks on your hips. He leant down and softly pressed his lips to your bare stomach, his hand running down to squeeze your thighs, his thumbs creating circular motions upon them. You sighed softly, but this one of content.

"ma belle âme soeur" (my beautiful soulmate)