A C T O R S || OS 02

192. Sebastian Stan | Changes

By : watchmegetobsessed | Tumblr 

word count: 1.8k
It's getting harder to deal with the changes your body is going through, but Sebastian is always there to love on you.

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Very early into your pregnancy, you read basically everything there was on the topic, so you were aware of all the changes that would happen in your body. Theoretically you were prepared for it all, but reality is always different from just reading about it. You like to think that you took the challenges pretty well though, kept a strong mindset that most of the changes are temporary and you'll be back to your old self after the baby arrives. The extra pounds, the skin pigmentations, the aggravations you gained through the first two trimesters never scared you, but there was one thing you were hoping to skip. Stretch marks.

Deep down you knew you wouldn't be able to go through this pregnancy without any, but you held the slightest hope when you reached the seventh month and your skin looked still just as spotless and smooth as before. There were only two months left until the baby was due to arrive and you made the mistake of believing that you'll be the lucky chosen one to have a baby with no stretch marks on your body. Well, you were wrong.

The eighth month came with a lot of mood swings and emotional outbreaks. You were starting to feel a little trapped in your own body, losing contact with who you are and what's really part of your body. It's a strange feeling, not one you can explain well, you've been feeling more like just a vessel, an incubator for your baby and less like yourself day by day. You didn't even try to tell it to Sebastian, afraid that he wouldn't understand the feeling and part of you was scared that you weren't supposed to feel this way. So you kept your doubtful thoughts to yourself, but it just started to eat you away, messing with your confidence that you've worked so hard on building up. The breakdown happens on an uneventful Friday.

The two of you are invited for dinner over at a friend's house and knowing well how long you usually take in the bathroom you start getting ready way ahead of when you need to leave. Sebastian is lounging in the living room since all he has to do is take a speedy shower and get changed, while you have a whole routine to go over. When you're fresh out of the shower, you start doing your usual steps, going through your long skincare routine you try to keep every time. Standing in just a silky robe that's not even wrapped around your abdomen, you have a great view of your almost entirely naked body in front of the floor to ceiling mirror. Your belly is now bigger than ever, your fingers barely touch when you try to hold it from under. It's still hard to believe that your baby is in there and you'll meet her in a few short weeks.

You almost don't even notice, moving on with your business, but then it catches your eyes. The first stretch marks on the lower part of your belly, running along your skin like tiger stripes, an obvious sign of the growth your body has been forced to go through recently.

"Fuck, no!" you gasp sadly, forgetting about being one of those lucky women who don't get marks on their skin. Turning to the sides, trying to take a good look at them you see that there are several, most of them on the underside of your belly where you can hardly see them, but once your stomach will go down they will be on full display.

It's silly, you know it, but you can't stop yourself from shredding a few tears. You have had stretch marks before the pregnancy, most of them on your bum and inner thighs, but they always appeared so faded, barely even noticeable on spots that don't stand out. Your stomach however is more on display that those areas and these new lines are so harshly dark and outstanding, nothing like your previous ones.

The tears keep rolling down your cheeks as you dig through your products and find the cream you previously bought for stretching marks in case the time comes. Now it has come and you hate that you're forced to use it.