I Love You Too Much

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Warnings: Self harm; little strong language

Avi was engaged, to this beautiful girl named Alice.

Alice hated you, with a passion, yet you never understood why.

Avi didn't know she was mean to you-- of course he could feel the bad vibes, but he didn't think either of you would hurt the other-- but she hurt you, emotionally, so much.

You remembered one day, when they first started dating. Alice snuggled herself up to Avi as he was practicing guitar, making it impossible to continue playing.

Avi sighed, starting to focus on whatever channel the tv was on. You felt your heart break slightly, knowing Avi was very unhappy in that relationship. He only dated her to make his parents happy. Esther even knew Avi was unhappy, and she tried to convince her parents that it was a bad idea, but they didn't buy it.

Alice started a conversation with you, constantly dissing you subtly.

That night, you went home, and by the time you went to bed, there were multiple cuts all along your wrists, arms, and legs.

*Present day*

It was the day before Avi's wedding day, and Avi had convinced Alice to invite you to be a bridesmaid, and she reluctantly agreed. You and Avi were hanging out in his hotel room.

You hugged Avi as Alice walked into the room.

You separated, sitting next to him on the couch.

"____, have you found a dress that fits you? You know, being thick and all, I just thought it would be hard for you to-" Alice asked.

"What the hell?" Avi interrupted.

"What? She's fat, Avi. I'm just saying what everyone else is thinking."

"Um, no. No one is thinking that! She is not fat! What do you see?" Avi furrowed his eyebrows at her.

"Alice, why are you always insulting my friends? Especially ____. She is literally the nicest girl I've ever met."

"Then why don't you marry her?!"

"Maybe I will. Alice, we're over. I can't deal with you anymore."

"Ugh!" She yelled, running out of Avi's room, screaming and running into Scott and Mitch in the hallway.

"The hell?!" Mitch yelled as the rest of PTX walked into their own hotel rooms.

"A-Avi, I'm sorry."

He shook his head.

"No, don't be sorry. Don't you dare be sorry. None of this was your fault."

You looked down, letting your hands hold your head up, "Why did she hate me?"

Avi sighed, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

"'Cause you're way prettier than her."

You blushed, looking up at him, "Oh you stop that."

"Well, it's true. You are so much more beautiful than her-- inside and out."

You smiled at him, leaning into his chest, as he stroked your hair softly.

"Um, what is this?" Avi asked, examining your wrist.

This just caused you to break down. You started crying, and you couldn't stop. Avi hugged you, and pulled you into his lap, trying to calm you down.

"Sweetheart, it's okay.. Why would you hurt yourself."

"It's just.. Alice used to come find me.. when you weren't around. She called me fat, ugly.. and it just took a toll on me," you broke, hugging Avi's neck tightly.

Avi apologized profusely, but you were still a fucking disaster.

"I'm not leaving you alone tonight.. It's not that I don't trust you-- Okay, let's be honest. I'm not sure what you're going to do to yourself, and I really just want to cuddle you until you feel better."

You smiled slightly, "You can do exactly that," you told Avi, and he lifted you up, and placed you on his bed, as he stood back up, taking his shirt off to sleep. You were already wearing a tanktop and sweats, and he was wearing sweats.

He laid down next to you, and the two of you talked for hours, catching up on everything each of you had missed within the past two years, since Alice had been in the picture.

"Please don't hurt yourself again.. I love you too much," he whispered, before leaning in slowly, and you felt his lips on yours. You began kissing back, and he eventually pulled away.

"Will you be mine?" Avi whispered nervously.

You nodded, "Definitely."

.

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