Officer Shepherd✔️

babies

MEREDITH

I was out at a coffee shop, when I noticed a black car outside. the same black car that I saw in Seattle. I figured a lot of people have black cars and this is another country. I paid  for my things and went out to my car.

I left and went back to the hotel. I unlocked the door walked in. "Hey," he says, making me jump. "what are you doing here?" I ask walking over to him. "I'm working from here today, it's too noisy at the building, and they're speaking Italian so it's worse when I can't understand them anyways," he shrugs.

"so you're saying you can't listen to the drama because you can't understand them?" I giggle. "No, it's just harder to work in noise. where were you?" he asks. "coffee shop, I got you this," I hand him a coffee and a bag. "thank you," he says. I lean in kiss him once.

"this may just be me being paranoid, but there was a black car outside the coffee shop. it's probably just a regular black car but it looked very similar to the one in Seattle," I say. "what?" he asks as he looks at me.

"I don't know, it's probably nothing but-" I say. "No, Meredith, he's in town and he hasn't changed his car," he says. "it was the coffee shop down the street?" he asks. I nod. "okay, thank you," he kisses me softly before he starts tying things on his computer.

"does that mean anything?" I ask. "yes, just a second," he says. he continues to type on his computer. "Do you want children?" he asks as he continues to look as his computer. "what?" I ask confused as I look at him, leaning back into the headboard.

"do you want children? babies," he says. "umm..." I say. I didn't think he was going to ask this now, maybe in a few years, but now? "I don't really know, never thought about it... do you want kids?" I ask, watching him intently.

"yes, one day, maybe in a few years," he says with a small smile on his lips. if he's smiling he must enjoy the thought of having children. it makes him happy. "I don't think it's something I have to have but I don't think children would be horrible," I say.

"Well, one day I don't want you to have children just because I want them and then you find out that you don't want kids," he says looking at me, his smile now a frown. "I'm not saying I would regret having a child... I'm just saying I don't need a child to fulfill my life. I'll be find without it, but I think children could be a happiness that I never knew I needed," I say. he's no longer frowning but I think he's waiting for me to say more.

"I'm not saying I never want children, but I don't think I want children," his face go back to a frown and he look sad, sad like he could cry kind of sad. "but I think I would maybe want a child, just one," his looks like they have some kind of hope in them.

"I'm not entirely sure. I grew up with two sister and maybe the reason I don't want multiple is because they're will always be one kid that will feel left out, they'll feel like the least favorite, they'll feel the least loved I don't want any of my kids to feel that way, it's usually either the oldest or the youngest that feels that way,"

"did you or your sister feel that way growing up?" he asks. "I did, nobody in my family went to college and they made work from other jobs but I did, I wanted to be a nurse, so I went to school and for it and I went to college, but my family didn't like it, I don't know why but they just didn't, they still won't tell me. so I took up writing and I liked writing, I still do but deep down I still wanted to be a nurse but I just pushed it away because I wanted my family didn't like it,"

"have you told your parents that you're a nurse?" he asks. "No, Lexie knows but she doesn't care what I do as long as it's not drugs, my other little sister doesn't know because I haven't spoken to her in a while and I don't know if I can tell my parents because I work in a mental hospital and that'll make it 10x worse to them,"

"So that's why you don't want multiple?" he askes. "yes, I think so. I know I would never do that to my kid and I know you would never do that to your kid, but even without that the kids will always feel that way and I don't want that, I don't want my kid to think I don't love them, especially because I work long hours and sometimes you do too," I say.

"Okay... that's a good reason. we don't have to have multiple children, we can have only one... just as long as it has your blond hair and your green eyes," he says. I smile. he smiles as he leans in and kisses me. "thank you," I whisper as I pull away a bit, inches away from his face almost touching.

"Mm-Hmm," he kisses me again, and again, and again, until I'm straddled on his lap. my arms wrapped around his neck and my legs around his waist, making out.

I understand feeling like that least favorite child if you feel the same, and I'm the youngest with an drug dealer older brother. that is something I will never understand. after four boys they wanted a girl and they got what they wanted minus that I'm not a good maid😘✌️im not looking for pity this is just my only place to say things without you knowing who I am and I'm annoyed by it😁👍