Officer Shepherd✔️

begging

I got a call from someone who is apparently related to the twin's father and now they want to meet the twins, but I don't think it's a good idea for them to meet people who are just going to leave them like Lexie.

the twins are in their room playing while I'm cleaning. I haven't seen Derek in a few days though.

the door opens and Derek walks in. "why are you here?" I ask. "don't talk to me," he says walking over to my bookshelf.

"then why are you here?" I ask again. "Meredith!" he says. "fine, Jeez," I say.

I finish cleaning and walk over to him as he looks at my books. "do you want some suggestions for the books you should take to France with you?" I ask.

"yes, how do you do it?" he asks. "I don't know. what genre are you looking for?" I ask.

"I don't know, just give me something you think I'd like," he says walking over to the couch. I start looking through my books.

"where are the kids?" he asks. "in their room. one of their father's family members called and wants to meet them," I say.

"what did you say?" he asks. "I said I'd think about it. I mean why now? why didn't they become close with them when they were younger, then they would have gotten them instead of me. it pisses me off when I get calls from the family of people that I don't know and asking for favours. they can mind their own business and leave the kids out of it," I say.

"what's wrong with them?" he asks. "I just told you, Derek. they're going to meet them once, fill their heads with crap and then leave and never call back. I don't want to start that with the kids when they already have it bad enough," I say.

"Good point," he says. I take about ten books, walk over to him and hand them to him.

"what am I going to do with so many books?" he asks. "you said at most you're going to be gone for a year, so that should do it," I say.

"I don't think I'll be that long," he says. "that's fine. it's fine for however long you're going to be gone for," I say.

"Meredith-" he says. "Derek, stop acting like you're not going to be gone for a long time. you said you're going to be gone for months, it's not your fault," I say.

"I don't want to be gone for that long," he says. "I know you don't but that doesn't mean that you won't, it's not that big of a deal," I say.

"yes it is," he says. "No, it's not! Derek stop acting like it'll ruin our relationship," I say, dropping the rest of the books next to him before walking away.

"it could!" he says. "but, it won't unless you make it, so don't!" I raise my voice.

"I'm not trying to," he says calmly. "then why do you keep bringing up that it could ruin our relationship," I say.

"you're the one saying I'm going to be gone for a year!" he raises his voice.

"because you could be! I'm just preparing myself for the worst, if it happens I'll be prepared but If you're back sooner then it'll be better than what I thought, it's a win-win!" I say.

"that's how you're going about this?" he says. "how else am I supposed to go about it?" I say.

"you're supposed to not want me to go!" he yells. "I don't but you said that you had to go even though you didn't want to," I say.

"and you accept that, you don't want more, wow, your standards are low," he says.

"what do you want me to do, get on my knees and beg for you to stay?" I say. "something like that," he says. "you've got to be kidding, you want me to beg you to stay here?" I say.

"I don't care how long you're gone, it's not your choice and it's not mine so I'm not going to beg you for anything!"

we stay quiet for a bit. "stay in France for as long as possible whether or not you need to, I don't care. I can't even look at you right now... take the books and leave, don't say goodbye to me when you leave tomorrow, I'll be fine. just go," I say, turning around, not looking at him.

"Mere-" he says. "No! go, now!" I say. "fine," he says quietly. I hear him take his things before leaving.