Officer Shepherd✔️

chapter 136

tw: mention of su!cide

MEREDITH

I woke up a few hours later. I roll over and saw Derek laying next to me. I think he's asleep.

"Derek... are you asleep?" I whisper in his ear.

"not anymore," he says opening his eyes.

"did Emily go to sleep?" I ask. "yes, she fell asleep a little bit before you went to sleep," he says.

"did she wake up?" I ask. "No, I checked on her before I went to bed," he says. "and Logan's still asleep?" I ask.

"I don't know, look next to you," he says. I roll over and see Logan still asleep in the bassinet. I laid down and went back to sleep.

---

I work up again to the feeling of someone shaking me awake. "Auntie Mer, Auntie Mer, Auntie Mer, Auntie Mer!" I hear Emily.

"ugh, what is it, Emily?" I groan. "I need help," she says. "with what?" I ask. "I don't remember how to make cereal," she says.

"you don't make cereal you put it together," I say. I kiss Logan's head as I get out of the bed and go into the kitchen with her.

I take out a bowel, cereal box, and milk. I put the bowel in front of her and pour some cereal and milk inside.

I go back into the kitchen and get her a spoon. "what are you doing up so early?" I ask as I hand her the spoon.

"I don't know," she shrugs. I sit down across from her at the table. "do you want to talk about anything?" I ask.

"I don't know," she says. "How do you feel?" I ask. "about what?" she asks eating her cereal.

"about the baby, Logan, how do you feel about having a baby in the house, because it's okay if you're happy about him being here," I say.

"I do like him, just not when he cries but then you make him stop so it's not so bad," she says. "you don't feel like we're trying to replace you?" I ask.

"No, you can't replace me. I'm not your kid, and you're not my mom," she says. I know she's right but it still kind of hurt.

"I know but you're still family, Em. I will always care about you, even if Derek and I have kids," I say.

"kids? more than one?" she asks. "We might have more when Logan's a bit older," I say. "why, you already have one why would you want more?" she asks.

"I don't know, it's hard to explain when you're an adult," I say. "but why would you want more?" she asks.

"Well, we might miss having a little baby in the house when Logan gets older," I say. "but my mom said you never wanted kids," she says. of course Lexie's told her about me.

"at the time, back then I didn't want kids. but now that I've met the right person and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with I realized I do want kids," I say.

"but why now?" he asks. "Emily, we still-" I say. "No, you can't have more kids!" she says before she stands up and runs into her room.

I sigh as I lean back into my chair. I stand up and pick up her now empty bowel and take it to the sink. I pour the milk down the drain and rinse the bowel out.

I go back into the bedroom and see Derek sitting against the headboard holding Logan who's now awake.

"what was all the yelling about?" he asks as I go into the closet and pick out a dress. "Emily, I asked her to talk about how she felt about the baby in the house. she seemed fine about for a bit until I mentioned that we were going to have more in the future and she got upset," I say.