I get back from taking Emily to school. after she ate breakfast she said that she felt a bit better. I suggested she should stay home but she said that she wanted to go to school.
I walk into the house to sound of Logan crying. "how is it he's fine with me but when he's with you he's always screaming?" I say.
I walk over to him and take Logan from his arms and gently pat his back. his crying slows down into small hiccups.
"he likes you better than me," he says. "thank goodness I didn't die, you would be so screwed," I say shaking my head.
"that's not funny Mer," he says sitting on the couch. "are you going to be one of those dads that say they want kids but whenever something serious and not fun comes around you're going to hand him to me?" I ask.
"I was a single dad for two weeks!" he says. "you couldn't even last two weeks doing the hard stuff," I say.
"I thought my finacee was dying," he says. "you can't use my pain as an excuse, that's my excuse for not being there but it's not yours. that's the hard part in being a parent, even when things are hard you still have to be there for your kids," I say.
"Emily isn't even ours," I hear him mumble. "what did you say?!" I exclaim. "nothing, I didn't say anything," he says.
"yes, you did. you said Emily isn't even ours, but she is, she might not be yours but she's mine. you proposed knowing Emily was going to be apart of our lives, if you didn't want her maybe you shouldn't have gotten down on one knee!" I yell.
I feel Logan start to stir around in my arms. "if you didn't want to be a parent you shouldn't have practically begged me for it," I say before I walk out of the room and I go into the bedroom.
"do you wanna take a bath with Mommy?" I coo kissing his cheek. I blink away the tears from my eyes.
I walk over to the bedroom door and locked it. as I dragged his bassinet with me when I walked into the bathroom. I sat down on the toilet and unzipped my dress.
I pulled it down my shoulders and unclassed my bra and tossed it to the side. I undressed Logan and took off his diaper.
I laid him on my chest and took off my dress and panties. I started the shower and waited for the water to get warm.
I stepped inside the shower.
after my shower I wrapped Logan up in the towel. I laid him down in his bassinetas I wrapped a towel around myself.
I picked up Logan and brought him into the bedroom. I sat down on the bed and pulled my towel down a bit so he could latch on.
after he finished feeding I went into the bathroom and laid him in the bassinet. I brought him into the bedroom again. I went back into the bathroom and closed the door.
I put a few products in my hair before I grab my hairdryer and turned it on. after I dried my hair I curled it and went back into the bedroom to check on Logan.
when Logan was still asleep and I changed into a black dress with a pair of black lace bra and panties. I leave the bedroom.
I go into kitchen grab all the dirty dishes and put them into the sink before cleaning them. "Meredith, I think we should talk," Derek says as he walks into the kitchen.
"why, you want this back?" I say showing him the ring on my finger. "No, Meredith. I didn't mean what I said in the living room,"
"well, if you don't mean things you probably shouldn't say them. I've never told you the amount of times I've thought about leaving you. the amount of times I've stayed up all night rethinking our relationship, wondering if you really are different from Andrew, but now I'm not so sure if you really are," I say tossing the sponge back into the sink and try walking away.
"Meredith, I really think we should talk about this-" he says. "maybe we should talk when I don't want to kill you!" I yell.
"Meredith-" he says but I cut him off by slapping him across the face. "you don't get to tell me you want to talk about this. you asked me to marry you when you knew I took my niece in when her piece of shit of a mother didn't want her anymore. I had to live with myself for the past few months knowing my nephew died while he was in my care, you didn't have to deal with any of that because you have the perfect family. when I tell you to shut up I don't want to talk that means I don't want to talk, you're not that special that you can make me want to talk by being an idiot" I yell
"You can't fix everything wrong with me," I say calmly before walking away and into the bedroom.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
