it's been a few hours since Meredith slapped and yelled at me before she went into her room.
I've realized that she's right. If she doesn't want to talk I should leave her alone. but one of the causes for her outburst is the grief of Daniel that she hasn't let herself feel yet.
usually, she would just talk to me about it but today was different. and she was right to slap me, I shouldn't have said that about Emily and I have to be there for the harder parts of being a parent.
I didn't mean what I said it was just in the moment and the reason I said it was because I was jealous of Meredith. Logan always stops crying when he sees Meredith but when he's with me he's always screaming.
the only reason I said it was because I was hurt by it and in the moment I wanted to hurt Meredith and the only thing that came to mind was Emily. but I regretted it right after I said it.
MEREDITH
I put a bookmark in my place and close my book. I lean over and kiss Logan's forehead before getting up and out of bed.
I walk out of the bedroom and go into the kitchen. I do the dishes that I was going to do before but didn't. after the dishes, I go into the living room and sit down next to Derek on the couch.
"you wanted to talk?" I say. "yes," he says. "go for it, Logan's still asleep," I say. "I didn't mean what I said about Emily," he says.
"I know you didn't, and I didn't mean what I said either. but even when you're mad about.. whatever it is you were upset about you can't say stuff about Emily. if you're mad at me you say something about me, and keep the kids out of it. Emily's always going to be a part of my life now, and if you want to be a part of my life she's going to be a part of yours," I say.
"I know, and I was mad at you-well, not mad, I was jealous of you," he says. "Jealous? of what?" I say.
"of you and Logan," he says. "what's there to be jealous, you wanna breastfeed him?" I say. "No, he likes you better," he says.
"Derek, he's almost a month old he doesn't know what liking someone is... he's just a baby, the only reason he wants me more of the time is probably that I have self-refilling bottles attached to My body and you don't... it keeps him alive and he likes that," I say.
"you have nothing to be jealous of... when's he's older and wants to play sports he's not going to come to me, when he goes through puberty he's not going to me when he needs advice about girls he's going to go to you, but then you need to send him to me because I'm not going to have a son who is misogynistic," I say.
"why would he be like that?" he asks. "because Andrew Tate is teaching young boys that if their girlfriends don't listen it's okay to beat them," I say.
"I don't know who that is but I agree with you," he says. "you should. and don't be jealous, he'll grow out of it... I think but as long as you live under the same roof as him I'm sure he'll talk to you, and if he doesn't take him out and do something with him, but worry about it when he's older and there's actually something to worry about," I say.
"you never wanted kids, how do you know how to be such a good parent?" he says. "I'm good at something if I want to be," I say.
DEREK
"I'm sorry," I say. "it's okay," she smiles as she leans in and kisses me on the lips. he goes to pull back but I put my hand on the back of her head and pull her in, deepening the kiss.
"Derek, Logan's-" she tries to say. "Shh, he's asleep," I say. I place my hand on her waist and pull her onto my lap so she's straddling me.
she wraps her arms around my neck. I run my finger's through her hair and push her closer to me.
I run my hand up her back and pull down the zipper of her dress. I push the dress down her shoulders and unclasp her bra as I continue to kiss her.
she starts to unbutton my shirt and pushes it off my shoulders and tosses it to the side. I kiss her cheek down to her neck and take one of her breasts into my mouth.
I lift up her skirt and pull her further onto my lap. she unbuckles my belt and unzips my pants. she pushes them down along with my boxers.
I rip her panties into two pieces and throw them on the floor. "you have issues," she moans. I feel my cock against my stomach as I grab her ass and sit her down on my dick.
"fuck.. me," she moans as she drops her head into the crook of my neck. she stays in her place for a few seconds before she starts moving herself up and down slowly.
after a few minutes, she quickens her pace. her moans get louder and her nails dig into my back as I feel myself throb inside of her.
MEREDITH
I dig my nails into his back and scratch him. I remove my hands from his back and grip onto the couch behind him.
"Fuck, Derek," I moan as I feel him push me down further onto him and I feel himself go deeper inside of me. I pull away and start kissing his lips.
he wraps my legs around his waist and feel him bring his hand down to my clit. he rubs my clit with his thumb vigorously making me moan.
after a few minutes, I feel him twitch inside of me. I feel my legs shake around his waist. I let out a cry of pleasure as I feel him release inside of me and I cum right after.
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