it was getting closer and closer to Meredith's surgery. Meredith felt fine, the pain subsided once they gave her some meds.
Meredith was relaxed and now reading a book in bed as she waited for her surgery... while Derek was in the chair next to her.
"are you scared?" he asked her. but she didn't hear him because she was to busy with her book to hear him.
"Meredith," he said as he took her book away. "Derek, don't do that. I won't be able to read for the next six years once the baby's born, I have to take advantage of the time I still have," she said taking the books back.
"are you scared... for the surgery?" he asked. "No, my fears are in natural birth, not c- section," she said as she started reading again.
"you're not scared of being cut open and having a baby taken out of you?" he asked. "no, the reason I'm getting a c- section is because I was scared of the natural birth, now I'm not scared," she says.
"so this is what helps you not be scared?" he asks. "exactly," she said. "how does that work?" he asked.
"I already told you why, if he's in the wrong position in a natural birth then he could die, but if he's in the wrong position and I get a c- section then he'll be fine," she says.
"makes sense, but aren't you scared for yourself? like what if something goes wrong and then you start bleeding out?" he says.
"then at least you have my kid to remember me by," she smiled at him while he only glared.
"I'm not going to die, and if I do then... well that's for you to figure out, not me because I'll be dead," she says.
"Meredith, don't say that," he said as he stood to his feet and started pacing around the room.
"Derek, don't pace. your legs are going to hurt later, and I'm not going to die," she said, closing her book and focusing on Derek.
"yes, but what if something goes wrong and you get hurt, what if you go lose too much blood and die. then what? what do I do if you're dead?" he asked. he started to pace around the room even more now.
he hadn't thought about Meredith having surgery and the risks of it before. he didn't see a point because Meredith hadn't came close to having the baby and it never occurred to him until now.
the surgery was in thirty minutes at the most and they would be coming to her at any moment now.
"Derek, I'm going to have to go into surgery any minute now, how come you never thought of this before?" she asked.
"I don't know, we never talked about this before," he says as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"I told you I was getting a c- section when I was five months pregnant, you've know this for months already, you weren't scared then, you have no reason to be scared now," she said trying to calm him down.
she didn't think there was anything to worry about. she had told Derek she was getting a c- section months before the birth of their baby and he was fine with it four months ago so she didn't think there would be anything to worry about now.
she thought if anyone was going to be scared of the surgery it was going to be her but the thought of having surgery instead of a natural birth comforted her.
all the risks of a natural birth went away if she got a c- section, and clinically nothing should go wrong during the c- section, so it seemed like the safest option.
she knew she would have a scar for the rest of her life but the scar would change anything anyways. she knew Derek wouldn't see her any differently when it came to sex so she didn't have to worry about that.
and her underwear would most likely cover the scar anyways. and Meredith never walked around the house naked so it wasn't like anyone was going to see the scar.
a natural birth would be more painful in her mind than a c- section. yes, she would have to be on bed rest for a while, but with a newborn she could do everything in bed.
she could feed him, change him, burp him, and put him to sleep all in bed and the baby would be sleeping next to her in a bassinet for the first few weeks so he would be in easy reach.
there was no reason to get out of bed other than shower which she could do with him or when he was asleep.
everything seemed fine... until now. "something could go horribly wrong, Meredith!" he said, still pacing around the room.
"Derek, calm down. you're not the one getting the surgery. nothing bad is going to happen, stop telling yourself something is going to happen because it's not. you should have had this freak out moment four months ago when I told you I was getting a c- section," she said rolling her eyes.
there was no reason for him to be scared. if anyone should be scared of this, it should be her.
"I understand that Mer, but I don't know what I'll do with myself, or the baby if you were to die," he said. he had stopped pacing and was now looking at Meredith with tears in his eyes.
"I'm going to be fine. the surgeon has been doing this for her entire life. c- sections are nothing compared to the other surgeries she has to do. this is what they would consider a boring surgery because almost nothing happens," she said.
"that doesn't help," he says. "what I'm trying to say is she does this everyday, she has had over a decade of practicing. she knows what she's doing and nothing bad is going to happen. just think about the beautiful son you're going to get out of it... you can raise him to be like you and you can brag about all the good things he does when he's older... look forward to that," she smiled at the thought.
"Okay," he sighed, now thinking about the better things that will come out of the surgery.
"we're going to have a son," he smiled as it just now hit him.
"we're going to have a son," she agreed, smiling back.
they would soon have a small beautiful family... and one day they would add another member... and then... another and they would continue until their family felt complete.
Ουπς! Αυτή η εικόνα δεν ακολουθεί τους κανόνες περιεχομένου. Για να συνεχίσεις με την δημοσίευση, παρακαλώ αφαίρεσε την ή ανέβασε διαφορετική εικόνα.
