Officer Shepherd✔️

Epilouge

Time Jump Three Years Later:

I woke up at five o'clock this morning. I had to get up early today even though it's one of my few days off. I took a shower and got myself dressed and let Derek sleep for a bit longer.

last night he had a very hard time falling asleep, I don't know why because he had been complaining that he was tired all day but when it came to actually go to sleep he couldn't seem to fall asleep.

I went into Logan's room and gently woke him up... but he didn't wake up, so I had to carry him out of bed and out of his pyjamas.

Logan is six now and he still has Derek's black hair and bright blue eyes and he now has many little freckles under his eyes under his cheeks.

I helped him into the bath and let him bathe himself alone so I can get the other kids ready. when I went into the kitchen I saw Derek standing at the counter drinking coffee.

Derek, of course, hasn't been himself since we found out, I think he feels a bit guilty because he and his father never had the best relationship and he never forgave his father for everything when he was a kid.

"Are you going to eat before we leave, or can you still not eat?" I ask him softly while placing my hand on his back. he hasn't really eaten much since the death and when he does eat he doesn't eat much, hardly even a plate full.

"I'm not hungry," he says before drinking his coffee again.

"Are you going to be at work when we go to sleep or will you go to bed with us?" I ask her as I get everything ready to make breakfast for the kids, I'm not going to eat because I don't get hungry much in the morning because when I wake up my body is still half asleep.

"I don't have to work for a few more weeks," he says quietly. "but we're probably going to still be at the funeral by lunchtime, your mom said she wanted the funeral to be longer so everyone would be able to mourn at the hospital so they would be finer by the time we go home," I say.

"what do you mean to have more time to mourn?" he asks. "instead of grieving at home or at work they can grieve at the actual funeral... and you know you can cry there, right?" I say.

Derek hasn't really cried since we got the phone call about his father's death. he teared up a few times but he stopped himself before he started crying.

he says it helps when I comfort him and hug and kiss him, but he won't actually cry. I think it's because he still blames himself but once he finally comes to terms with it completely I think he'll finally open up and cry.

"I don't want to cry, Meredith. I told you that," he says. he also gets upset when I tell him he should cry or when I remind him he's allowed to cry, so I try not to ask too much so he won't get angry and yell.

"Okay, that's fine. do you know if the girls are up yet?" I ask. the girls don't wake up until a little later.

"No, they're still asleep," he says. "Okay, can you watch this while I go check on Logan?" I say. he nods and I walk out of the kitchen and go into Logan's bathroom where he's still in the tub.

there's not a lot of water in the tub and he's old enough to not drown in the water. "did you wash your hair, Dove?" I ask as I get a towel ready for him.

"yes, but I got some shampoo in my eyes," he says standing up and draining out the water.

"did you get it out?" I ask, wrapping the towel around his small body and helping him out of the tub and onto the floor.

"yes, I used the water from the tub but then that also had soap in it so I had to use a towel," he says as I tie his towel and get another towel for his hair.