Officer Shepherd✔️

feeling weird

MEREDITH

I continued packing my things. Derek finished packing his things earlier. all he brought was pants and shirts and some underwear, I on the other hand brought pants, shirts, dresses, pajamas, bras, panties, shoes, books, socks, and more.

"Meredith, have you seen my cuff links," Derek says as he walks in.

 "what? you didn't bring cuff links, Derek. and you didn't bring a suit," I say.

"I know, I just wanted to make sure you were listening. are you ready yet?" he asks. 

"No, but if you helped maybe I would be," I say.

"you can't pack your own things?" he chuckles

"I can there's a lot of things and I can't do it all," I say. 

"let me," he says. I stand up and let him do the rest.

he finishes not long after. "how did you do that?" I ask.

"what, fold some clothes and put them into a suitcase?" he says walking over to me. 

"that took me hours," I say. 

"and I feel weird," I say. 

"why do you feel weird? is there something wrong with you?" he says sweetly as I puts his hand under my chin. 

"I don't know, go lock the door," I say. 

"why?" he asks. 

"because, go lock the door," he walks over to the door and locks it.

"take your clothes off," I say.

"Meredith-" he says.

"just-please," I say.

he looks at me for a bit before he starts unbuttoning his shirt. I take off my dress and the rest of my clothes and walk over to him.

"Are you sure this will help?" he asks.

"yes, why are you asking questions about having sex with me?" I ask.

"good point," he says before kissing me. his hand run down my stomach before resting it on my center. 

****

I fall on the bed next to him panting out of breath. 

"do you still feel weird?" he asks, breathing heavily.

"No, not anymore... do you think your parents are outside?" I ask.

"why are you asking about my parents after a lot of sex?" he asks.

"because the curtains are open," I say.

"what?!" he panics as he sits up and looks out the window.

"I don't know, your dad's always outside. just a thought," I shrug.

"he's not out there, if he was he went inside," he says laying back down. 

"we'll see, when we go downstairs and they look at us weird then we'll know," I say.

"are we leaving tomorrow or the day after?" I ask.

"tomorrow," he says. 

"Lexie's gonna kill me. do you think I'm ready for this?" I ask turning my head to face him.

"ready for what?" he asks.

"having two kids, I haven't taken care of those kids since they were babies and they don't even remember that... I don't know how to take care of them, what if something bad happens, what if I'm not good at it?" I say.

"Meredith," he says, pulling me into his chest.

"you're going to be fine, you're good with kids, you were amazing with Grace the other day," he says.

"Well, yea, she's your niece and one day she'll be my niece, but I'm not going to be her mother, and I don't know if I can be Emily and Daniel's mother," I say.

"it'll be fine, I'll be there and they won't start acting horrible until they get comfortable... and when they do all you have to do is put them in timeout for ten minutes and they'll be fine." he says.

"and if they're not?" I ask. "then I'll help you, you like reading, give them a book and make them read and they're at the age of going to school so they'll be gone for six hours," he says.

"what if they hate school and then when I make them go to school they tell everyone they have a mean aunt who makes them do things they don't want," I say.

"they'll be too busy with the 'my mommy doesn't want me anymore' story to tell the mean aunt story," he says. 

"and they're going to have to change schools and then they're going to get bullied," I groan into his shoulder.

"why are they going to get bullied?" he chuckles putting his hand on the back of my head and running his fingers through my hair.

"have you seen the clothes those kids wear? Lexie dresses horribly, you know those kids in school that smell really bad?" I asking laughing a bit. he grins nodding.

 "she dresses them like that," I say.

"then when they grow out of the clothes dress them differently," he says. 

"how does one dress children?" I ask.

"you go in the children's aisle and see what you think would look good on them," he says.

"that doesn't sound that hard," I say.

"it isn't, you're just overreacting," he says.

"I'll work on that," I say.

"you do that," he kisses my shoulder.

"I'm tired," I say after a few minutes of silence.

"go to sleep," he says.

"but before you do, you do realize out of all the times we've ever had sex we haven't used a condom and we've had sex almost everyday since we've been here and we've been here for two weeks," he says.

"We'll talk about that later, goodnight," I say pressing my face into his chest and closing my eyes.

"goodnight," he says kissing my head. "even though it's not nighttime," he whispers before I fall asleep.

I literally don't know what to write. if you have any good ideas let me know.