Officer Shepherd✔️

chapter 130

that night

Logan had been crying for the past 45 minutes. I've tried everything and nothing works. he's not hungry, he's not tired, and he has a clean diaper.

my mother always said that baby's have different cries, and I never believed her until Logan was born.

and this cry wasn't like any of his other cries, this cry was a cry for his mother. he wants Meredith... but Meredith isn't here and I don't know what to do.

he had to get tired eventually, he can't cry forever. my mother left to stay at the hotel. she said it would be better if she stayed with us and as much as I love my mother, I know Logan will do this more as long as Meredith is in a coma and she won't get any sleep.

after another thirty minutes Logan was starting to get tired of screaming and crying so much. he was still hiccupping every few seconds and was quietly whining.

it was getting late, I was, and Logan was so tired he could hardly keep his eyes open. I could feel his body was still a bit tense against my chest. his throat is probably going to hurt tomorrow morning, or later but some warm milk should help with that.

I left the living room and went into the bathroom. I turned the tap on and let it fill the tub with warm water.

I went into the bedroom and picked out some sweatpants for me and and thin white onesie for Logan since it was getting a bit warmer inside, and laid them on the bed.

I went back into bathroom. once the tub was full I turned the tap off and undressed Logan and I.

I carefully got into the tub and sat down. I kept Logan on my chest so half of his body was covered with water.

I felt him relax against my chest as the warm water calms his nerves. his eyes flutter shut and his breathing slows down. he shifts a bit before I feel him start to fall asleep.

after our bath, I step out of the bath with Logan still asleep on my chest. I drained the tub and dried off Logan and I.

I brought him back into the bedroom and got him dressed into a clean diaper and his clothes before I got dressed as well.

I laid Logan down in the middle of the bed and laid down next to him, turning off the lamp before I fell asleep.

the next day

I decided to go out and see Meredith today. I decided I would take Logan to the hospital with me to visit Meredith.

I packed his diaper bag with some diapers, clean clothes, and his milk, and a pacifier. I grabbed the car seat out of the closet and placed it on the couch.

I went into the bedroom and picked up Logan from his bassinet. I took him into the living room and placed him in the carrier and buckling him in.

I grabbed my coat from the coat hanger and put it on. I grabbed Logan's blanket from the blanket and tucked him in tightly.

I moved the handle forward before picking up the carrier and took him out to the car. I got him buckled into the car.

I went around to the front and started the car and drove to the hospital. When I got there I took out the carrier and brought him inside.

I walked down the halls to find Meredith's room. I gently opened the door and walked inside.

I closed the door behind me and walked over to where she lay. I carefully set down the carrier as I sat down in the chair next to Meredith's bed.

"do you want to see your mommy?" I cooed as I unbuckled Logan out of the carrier. I kissed his cheek once before laying him next to Meredith, wrapping her arm around him and caging him in.

as soon as he felt her at his side he turned his head and cuddled into her side. I let Logan stay with Meredith for a bit.

---

around twenty minutes later, Meredith's doctor walks through the room. "does laying with her help?" she asks.

"yes, he misses her when he's at home," I say.

"it's good for him to spend some time with her, especially at this age," she says.

"is everything still going fine? she's getting better?" I ask.

"... I'm not sure... her vitals weren't so good this morning but we got them back to normal," she says.

"so... she's not getting better?" I ask. I knew it, she's going to die.

"she's not getting any better, and some things are getting worse... but it's still not a hundred percent," she says.

"I still don't understand how this happened... it was supposed to be a simple surgery, one cut, take the baby out then close her up and that's it, but... how did the bleeding start?" I ask.

"something happened and the surgery didn't go as planned... it rarely happens but it does happen, and we're doing everything we can to make sure she wakes up," she says.

I nod. she makes sure everything with Meredith is fine and she also did a check up on Logan just to be sure everything is fine and she said he is perfectly healthy.

she asks to speak with me outside the room. I agree. I place Logan in the carrier and move him next to the chair before we leave the room.

as she's still talking we hear the machines start to go off. she runs back into the room and a bunch of nurses go in there and they try to get her back to normal.

I grabbed the carrier that Logan was still sleeping and left and went into the waiting room. I know the family isn't supposed to see that kind of stuff and I didn't want to either.

after a good twenty-thirty minutes the doctor comes back and she doesn't look happy.

I stand up and walk over to her, "I'm sorry but we tried everything we could... but we couldn't save her," she says.

I feel my heart break and the pieces sink to my stomach. "I-I have to go, please, watch the baby," I say quietly before walking away.

I walk outside and I break. I drop to my knees sobbing. I sob into my hands, shaking uncontrollably.

after a few minutes, I decide to pull myself together. I stand up and walk back into the waiting room. I pick up Logan's carrier and I go back into Meredith's room to get the diaper bag.

when I walk into the room I see her laying on the bed, dead. she's looks cold and paler than she usually does.

I blink away the tears, pick up the diaper bag and leave the room and then I leave the hospital.