when he arrived at the apartment he brought Logan inside. he set the carrier on the bed and went over to where some of his clothes were.
he then remembered what Meredith had told him about showering when the baby was born. she said that she would shower with the baby when he was born, and figured Meredith wasn't here and Logan would wake up soon.
he placed his clothes on top of the toilet seat and hung up a towel. right as he was about to turn on the shower he heard Logan start to cry.
he turned on the shower and made sure it was the right temperature before going back into the bedroom.
he carefully removed Logan from the carrier. Logan scrunched up his legs as he laid him on his chest, supporting him with one hand under him and the other on his head.
he took him into the bathroom. he managed to remove all his clothes while still holding Logan and removed Logan's clothes as well.
he checked the water temperature again before stepping into the shower. he used the baby shampoo to gently wash the dark hairs on Logan's head.
he made sure no water got in Logan's eyes. it also seemed like Logan liked the warm water as he stayed relaxed against Derek's chest.
after their shower, he wrapped a small white towel around Logan, a specific towel they had bought for the baby.
he gently laid Logan down on the bed as he dried himself off and got dressed into a pair of clean grey sweatpants.
he then grabbed a clean black onesie from the diaper bag, a diaper and got Logan changed into them. Derek was tired and he was going to be going to sleep soon but he wasn't sure if he wanted to leave Logan alone in the nursery.
he wanted to do what Meredith would have done because she would have done everything right and made sure Logan was safe.
Meredith would have had Logan sleep in the bedroom with her for the first week or two before putting him to bed in his own room.
so, Derek got the bassinet from the closet and set it up right next to Meredith's side of the bed. he gently placed Logan inside and he soon drifted back to sleep.
Derek got in bed himself and laid right next to Meredith's spot on the bed before he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
---
am hour or two later Derek was woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. he rolled over onto his side and reached for his phone.
when his hand hit his phone it fell off of the nightstand and onto the floor. he bent down and picked up his phone from the floor.
he laid back in bed and checked who it was and saw it was his mother. he swiped his thumb across the green button and brought the phone to his ear.
"Hello?" he rasped into the phone.
"Derek, you don't sound too well. were you asleep? did I wake you?" she asked as he could hear her moving around in the kitchen.
"No, I just woke up a bit before you called," he said as he leaned over the bed to check on Logan, seeing he was still fast asleep.
"I'm on a flight to Seattle and I just wanted to check on you, make sure everything is okay with you and... your son... I know you and Meredith were having a hard time with names but did you pick one yet?" she said.
"yes, his name is Logan," he said with a smile.
"wonderful name. so how is everything with you and Logan?" she asked.
"Things are fine, I guess. as fine as things can be with his mother being in a coma and all," he said.
"How are you holding up... without Meredith?" she asked in a sympathetic voice.
"a lot harder than I would have imagined... I never knew how much I really relied on Meredith, and I don't mean in the taking care of me way, I mean emotionally... I never had someone in my life who I couldn't live without, I mean... if she doesn't wake up I don't know what I'll do," he said, tears starting to blur his eyes.
"I know... but let's just pray she wakes up," she said softly. "and if she doesn't?" he asked, putting his hand over his mouth to suppress the sob that was about to leave his mouth.
"let's not think about that unless it happens," she said. "yea," he nodded his head.
he knew his mother was right, he shouldn't think about losing Meredith unless it actually happened... but it was hard to have hope when she had been in a coma for almost a week.
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