Marvel imagines pt.4

Tied to you 🌿 Bucky (request)

Song: TFATWS - soldier, attack.

Okay so I am really conflicted about this request since I recently became aware again that another request with roughly the same plot could be specified as rape and yeah well, that doesn't sit right with me but, now that I thought about it,

if you don't like it, don't read.

There will be mentions of smut in this and it could also specify as like non-con/dub-con. So.. just beware of that!

This was also pretty emotional for me for a completely different reason. I got broken up with and even tho I have amazing friends, it's hard on me.

Also I won't be doing a part 2 of this because it's so heavily loaded with triggers and emotions, please respect that.

•••

'Bucky!' You exclaim giggling as you both stumble into your shared apartment.

You get roughly pushed against the wall while his lips meet yours. 'I'm so turned on by you right now...' he huskily mutters.

'Buck...' you whine as his lips now attach to your neck.

He may be horny, but you're far from that. You're really worn out and tired. You just finished a two week long mission and you're not up to Bucky's shenanigans until you've had your rest.

You haven't had a decent night since you went on that mission and immediately after your return had to attend tongs party together. You really need it.

'Come on doll... you won't have to do a thing...' he pleads.

'Buck I'm serious... I'm tired... maybe tomorrow...' You urge him away from you.

He gets this playful hint in his eyes and it makes you chuckle a little bit. It does sound good that he would do everything and you just lay there, it takes little convincing.

'I'm going to make it my mission to take you to bed dollface...' he jokes and you chuckle at that.

You shrug off your coat and walk away from him. 'Whatever Soldat...'

That sparked something inside of him, and not in a good way. The "soldat" triggered the Winter Soldier inside of him, the worst part wasn't finding out that it turned him, but because of what he did next.

He storms over to the kitchen, before you can even say anything he grabs you tightly. Too tight for your liking. You tip your head back to look in his eyes, you see the cold and empty blue staring back at you. That's when you start to panic.

'Buck... baby... come back to me...'

'Need to finish my mission...' the Russian spills from his lips making more anxiety course through your veins.

You're trembling in his hold. Tears already blur your vision because this never happened to you before to this extent, you always have been able to pull him back in a couple second. But not this time.

He suddenly lifts you up and carries you around the apartment. Your eyes hastily scan the environment, maybe you could knock him out? Or if you're lucky you could phone someone with the landline. Steve is on speed dial...

But the soldier knew everything Bucky knew. He was carefully avoiding things you could grab to harm him, and you wouldn't even be able to reach the phone with his arms wrapped around you.

'Bucky please...' you let a sob out. 'Plessers you're scaring me...'

'Need to finish my mission...' he repeats in Russian once again before dropping you on the bed.

After that everything became a blur to you. Just faint memories of the horror you had to go through because you accidentally triggered something in his brain.

Your wrists and ankles were tied down to the bed, you couldn't get free, you have burns from those ropes he used.

You were crying at first. Sobbing and screaming your lungs out, begging for him to stop but he didn't, just repeated that you were his mission and that he needed to finish it. It took a while before it was over, before Steve and Natasha bursted through the door because they got an alert at the compound.

Nat immediately went to help you while Steve had some trouble ripping Bucky away from you. You were completely numb, as Nat told you.

You didn't even acknowledge her and aside from the tear stained cheeks and the redness around your eyes, no other physical signs of any emotion were there to be found.

'Honey? Y/n? Honey can you say something for me?' Natasha asks As she rips loose the last rope.

You don't even turn your head to watch her, you stare up at the ceiling while you take steady breaths. 'Y/n..' she says more stern now. Her eyes move to the handprint around your neck.

'Honey talk to me...' She gently cups your cheek before lightly tapping it a few times.

Your eyes finally move to hers, you let out a slight hum which makes Natasha let out a breath of relief, you're not completely gone.

Nat told you they took you to the compound after that. That they had to keep Bucky in restraints because he wouldn't stop trying to get to you, to apologise, to check on you and make sure you were okay.

You don't even know if you're okay. You don't even know if you're even able to see him ever again, even if it's not his fault.

You thought the "mission" was hard but the truly hardest part is this, seeing Bucky and the winter soldier as two different people. Because now every time you see his face you get reminded of the night.

It's not fair. To either of you. He was forced, and so were you.

'Y/n?' your head lifts up immediately to meet his startled face staring back at you.

'Buck..' you reply, voice harsh from the screaming and sobbing still.

'I.. I came to apologise.. I know I'm not supposed to be here but-'

'It's okay...' you tell him, but when he moves closer you flinch away form him. It breaks his heart.

'I'm so sorry... I don't.. I don't know what came over me... I never wanted this..' his voice gets shaky which makes you tear up.

The Winter soldier already destroyed so much of Bucky's life, already tried to destroy everything you two have and this time, it sure caused a crack.

'I know... I know it wasn't you..' you nod, averting your gaze as tears run down your cheeks again.

You can't look at him without remembering the only details you know. They play on repeat, the pain in your joints making it harder to just forget.

'This is gonna tear us apart isn't it?' He's crying now.

'No.. no it doesn't have to...' you promise him. 'But I need some time... the things The Soldier did... some of them were genuine fears..'

'I get it.. I'm so fucking sorry...and that doesn't mean shit now because you're stuck with the trauma...' Bucky replies.

'I need time... that's all I can say besides that I love you... and that it's not your fault... but I can't... I can't look you in the eye without.. without remembering.. and it sucks.. because we both don't deserve that...'

'I'll wait for you... even if it's a fucking eternity... even if you decide to not see me ever again I'll wait...'

'I'll try my best... I will...'

That puts a small smile on both your faces. Although you can't see it.

'They can't destroy us...' You promise him before he leaves. 'I won't let them...'