It's about two hours later I still haven't gotten off my bed. I've cried till I can't take a deep breath and my nose is running so bad .. I know I have to get to Walmart I need some personal items that just can not wait .. I feel drained . And I think I'm getting a head ache .. I stand up off my bed . I need a shower still . I walk out my room and down the hall to my mom's room I need meds. This head ache can't get going to bad .. when I walk out my mom's room I go threw the living room to get to the kitchen I see Jay sitting on the couch .. I'm confused he said he was going home.. why is he just laid back on the couch .. I walk on to the kitchen and grab a cup fill it with water and swollow the headache pill. I walk threw the living room and look around . Jay says dad just left. I was helping him with the dryer ... I have no idea what that means but OK .. I guess I still look confused. . Why are u still here then running around in my head ... I sit down on the couch . Not close to him tho... he says ur eyes are swollen , I say u keep me crying . He says I'm sry . I'll stop . I look at him . Jay what are you doing ? I ask . He says I don't know. I just don't wanna leave . I'm holding my head at this point .. he says what's wrong is ur head hurting I say yes. I just took the meds .. he says I'm sry baby I really am. I don't wanna cause u the same pain I feel ... I say Jay how long is this gonna last. Cuz I've had a about enough in pain in my life. And this one seems it's never ending . Why can't we just stop . I'm holding my head as I say this. This headache is getting worse and I feel the tension and emotions. . I'm so over being drained to the point of exhaustion . I wanna feel better ... I'm thinking all this in my head .. Jay gets up and walks over to me ,sits down right next to me and pulls me to his chest. He lays my head on his chest and rubs my hair. He says I'm sry I really am. Can I just hold u till u feel better .. I just lay on his chest. This is home . I don't know why but he's my comfort and my pain . He's everything to me . But the reason I cry . I'm so confused. But I'm also very much in love . He says come on. .. he stands and pulls me to my feet and leads me to my room . We walk in and he shuts the door turns off the light and I crawl on my bed. .. he crawls right in behind me. ..he says it's not wring to be here for you when u really need me. And I know you do . I'm gonna lay here and hold you .I want you to lay here on my chest till ur head feels better . I lay on his chest .. my head is no longer the concern. My heart is aching. We are in a darken room alone .I can here his heart beating and hear him breathing. This is comfort and pain. .. explain that one ...Jay is rubbing my back so softly and he's gentle kissed the top of my head twice .. we been laying here for about an hour it seems and I keep praying he won't leave . I know he will soon . I look up at him , he says u OK baby ? I say yes . I'm good . He says ur headache gone ? I think so .. I say . He rolls on his side and starts kissing me .. when he pulls away he's breathing a Lil harder .. he says I love you , I say I love you too ..but mine sounds like a cry for help .. and I think I need some help right now because my belly is so dam tight .. and I notice my breathing is some what faster .. he kisses me again. Full on tongue and I'm pretty much lost ..I'm rubbing his back , and I pull up his shirt I wanna feel his skin. He places his hand on my belly and I take a deep breath. He pulls my shirt up and has his bare hand on my bare belly and I'm way there so there .. he kisses me and rubs my belly , then starts the S shapes and my whole body is aching I want him so bad. He whispers I love you. . I l o v e y o u t o o ... I studder he moves his hand down to my shorts and pulls the band down exposing the dip .. he very lightly runs his fingers over it .. and I grip him tight around his arm. He looks up at me, it's dark but I know he is facing me .... he says do u want me ? I say yes . He says melanie ? I just look at him .. do u really want this .. he ask . I say yes . He pushes in the deep and my head goes back .. he whispers. I don't wanna hurt you , don't let me hurt you .. I just rub his back and shoulder.. he pulls my shorts off with one hand . And slowly lovingly takes me right where I want to be ... magic. It's pure magic , love, us the way we sre with each other .
