I've made three more meals and folded two loads of laundry. Matt is still here. I've made us lunch and coffee ...Matt is eating a sandwich and chips when the dryer buzzer goes off again. I walk to the laundry room and lean over to empty the dry ..Matt walks up behind me and puts his hands on both my hips. I turn around in his hands and he kisses me full on tongue Kiss...for about three minutes we make out hard .. I feel this in my frito toes .. it's so hot.. I've got my hands on his seriously large arms . And he's holding my hips .. he looks at me when the kiss is over and says thanks for lunch oh and dinner .. he walks out the laundry room. .I Stay ..I hear the front door open and close .. I press my fingers to my very warm lips .. kissing Matt has my lips swollen and warm .. I think did I even brush my teeth today. Who cares !!!!! U just chested on Jay. Full on !! Cheated !! Ur married u idiot. . I didn't plan it. It just happen. I let it go on. Why didn't I pull away ..why did I just keep it going .what's wrong with me ??? Omg. Why .how ..I can not allow that . Ever again.. oh shit... oh shit... two hours later I'm standing in the shower wishing I could stop thinking about it. The amount of guilt I feel has to be writin on my face ..Jay will be home soon. I have to do better . I can't watch TV. I'm too nervous. I need to go clean McKenna's room . I've wiped down every surface in her bedroom hung up all her clothes made her bed with clean fresh covers. Even tho she has never slept in this room .I have a crib in my room next to my bed.. I make it up with clean covers every day . McKenna is spoiled to the highest level. Believe me . I walk to my living room and sit down with a fresh hot cup of coffee . I'm in my chair. . I need to relax. No one knows or will ever and it will never ever happen again! !! Jay calls me hey baby I'm still in Jackson. I called Zare she's getting mark to run Kenna home now. .. I'm so sry baby I'll be home in a few hours. .. I say OK. No problem. . I love you. I love you too. .. I'm pulling the pot pie I made for tonight out the oven when mark knocks on the door. He's holding my baby buy she's a sleep it's 8pm so her bed time .. I take her and place her in her bed in my room when I wall back in the living room marrissa is her too. Mark says she had dinner and changed. So she's good .it say thanks so much mark. He says bye ..and marrissa says hey girl how are ya ? I'm great ! How are you ? I say. .. she says oh I'm good. I just wanted to say thanks for dinner . Oh its fine I made too much .. he came to get a tool I just wanted it out the way . I smile .. I ask her does she want a drink ..she says yes I make her some coffee. We sit at the table .. she says Tammie and I had fun today wish u could have come with us .. I know but I had to make meals for all next week .. I'm working every night next week to help my boss ...she's happy as usual and says oh okay .. well this house looks awesome and smells so good .. and all the meals cooked. U are mom and wife goals woman .. I laugh. I'm exhausted tho...and didn't spend anytime with Kenna. .she says u will u know that .. she says where is Jason . Oh he had to make a trip to Jackson. He will be late .. she says well I need to get home .. I just wanted to thank u. That pot pie is delicious girl . Matt had it all cooked when I got home ..she winks at me .. wow that was sweet . U go home and reward that man ..she says will do ..I shut the door and cringe ..ugh. I can't think of her fucking him .. I make me a plate and I sit alone at the table and eat ... after I do the dishes I check on McKenna .. she's out ..I know she will sleep well cuz she was out all day. At 10:00 pm. I decided it was time for some sleep . I crawl in bed and I'm out. .
