Three days later , Jay is laying on the couch playing some video game. While I'm cleaning house and making Kenna some lunch .. I hear a knock on the door I throw the hand towel over my shoulder and head to the door .. it's marrissa Matt and baby Ethan who is already reaching for me. I allow them in ..but wasn't thinking . Jay looks up at me like really . I give him my please be good face ....he knows I will not have no shit in front of the kids.. but I can tell Jay is not happy he's here. .dam . I've made beef stew and corn bread. I ask them if they'd like to stay for lunch .. marrissa says yes please I'm starving ! I put McKenna in her high chair and place veggies from the stew on her tray .. Jay calls me from are bedroom. .. I walk in he slams me against the wall and kisses me .. he then puts his forehead to mine. .. I don't want him in this house Jay says. I can't kick them out.. Jay I say . He says you want her to know. Cuz I'd be oh too happy to tell her . Jay please they are friends. It was all my fault .. can we please talk about this later and we can figure this out .. Jay says I'd do anything for you baby but having lunch with that mother fucker is asking a bit much don't you think. ... yes I do. I whisper .. looking at the floor .. he pushes my chin up so I'm looking him in the eyes .. I'm sry I say. Jay says I'll stay in here. Just get them gone fast ..please . OK I will . Jay kisses me. Hard . And says we will talk later. . He let's me go .. I walk back to my dining room table where marrissa has served her and Matt she's going on about how good this food is. ..and saying she had to go get Chloe a gift today. ..Tammie is having Chloe birthday party at incredible pizza tomorrow. Everyone will be there but I'm scared Jay will not wanna go .. he's not gonna be around Matt .. we sit and eat lunch .. marrissa says where is Jason. Why isn't he having lunch with us ? I tell them he hasn't felt good today and I look up at Matt . He gives me the does he know look ... I shake my head yes .. in a very slow motion. ..while marrissa was feeding Ethan . Who is still reaching for me .. I take Lil man and he hugs me tight. He says I love you. Awww I say I love you too .. marrissa says I need to smoke ..can u hold him for another min.. I say yes of course as I'm feeding him off my plate .. when she's outside I look at Matt. And whisper he knows everything. These visits are not a good idea anymore .. please make an excuse next time .. I'm sry ..he says OK . But looks mad .. he stands and places his and her plate in the sink .. he walks over to me and takes his son.. he walks out side talks to his wife then I see him take off across the front yard .. she says wow now he's not feeling so good. We gotta go. Thanks so much for lunch. I'll see ya tomorrow. Oh OK no problem. See ya tomorrow I say when she shut the door Jay walks up behind me and wraps his arms around me .. i turn and look at him. He says thank you. I shake my head yes .. I make his plate and drink. He sits next to Kenna and plays with her while feeding her his food .. she keeps turning away from his fork and shaking her head no . He does it again and she laughs .. he says eat it eat it in his deep voice .. she says no daddy no .. he's laughing. She's laughing. I watch these two in awe . Jay says come here baby .. I walk over to him and he sits me down in his lap .he starts kissing and biting my neck in a playful manner. I laugh . And Kenna says my mommy. Jay says my mommy. Kenna is laughing no no no my mommy ...Jay says my mommy and plus me away . Kenna puts out her sad lip ..Jay stops immediately and takes Kenna out of her high chair .. he's kissing her and says my Kenna ... my baby. She's now laughing so hard .. Jay says come on mommy he takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom while still holding Kenna .. we lay down on our bed and turn on the TV ..Jay starts the movie Annie. Which is Kenna favorite right now .. Jay pulls the cover up on us Kenna in the middle Jays rubbing my hair and winks at me. .. Kenna is watching this movie so close. It's so funny to me that she likes this movie at this age .. Jay says it's the music ..because I've been singing to her sense she was conceived. And still do every day .
