He says baby I'm sry you think that . It had nothing to do with love. I don't love her.. it was about another life style I couldn't give up .. I look up .. he says there are things you don't know .. I look at him . Tell me .. I say. He says I can't .. I try to get off his lap . He holds me so tight . Please no don't go . Baby if I told u ud hate me for sure .. tell me . He looks like this is the hardest thing he's ever had to say to me .. I was with her because I couldn't fuck you .. I look confused .. he says when I'm with u I want to make love to u .. I can't be dominant or cause u pain .. when I was with her there was no feelings evolved. I would hurt her in ways u can't even imagine. I must look shocked . He says see. Baby it became this thing I needed .. I would hurt her then fuck her till she screamed stop .. and even then I'd still keep going not giving a dam how bad it was on her .. she kept saying I'd let u hurt me just for the attention. .because she wasn't getting any ..from her husband. And when I was mad at you or we would fight and I wouldn't know what to do with that anger I'd go do that .. I'd need to take out this anger out on her .. I'm in utter complete shock . I can't believe he's saying this shit. It started after my mom passed . I was so mad .. and I was mean to girls. But I still wanted to get laid .. and we'll I found away I could do both. . And she'd let me .. hell. She begged me too. I stopped doing it .I wasn't seeing her the whole time. When we got together the first 6 mons.. I didn't see her ..but when u slept with Matt ...and then Sam. I was fucked up about that. And I went to see her . Then when we got back together I didn't see her for a while . But when u went to Italy I stayed with her for weeks ... and it became this horrible out of control thing .. I came back to town 4 days after u did. . I couldn't stay away. . I knew I loved you. ..plus I got scared I'd really hurt her bad . I got outta control with what I was doing .. I broke her wrist .. I want so bad to take off running .. I can't understand what he was doing .. im lost .. he says Melanie u know u got to where u liked it a Lil more ruff .. but I'd try so hard not to . I didnt wanna lose my self in that moment with you. I could never ever hurt u .. but I didn't trust me .. so lemme get this straight. . U hurt her ..how? I ask... he says . I don't wanna put that in your head .. baby.. tell me Jay .i say he says .. well I was mean . I'd hit her and push her way past any normal limit . And I'd tie her up and not let her go for hours. I'd keep going for hours .. and just not stop . I'd keep the acts for so long she'd almost pass out and then I'd hit her for being tired . I'm scared .. I stand up the fear Just took over me .. and I have to move now .. I step away .. Jay says .Melanie i never ever saw u that way .. please stop looking so scared of me. I only did cause she let me .. I'd never ever do anything like that to u . I love you. Ur my heart and soul . Jay is crying again. He looks down .. and i turn and run .. I mean run like I was being chased my Freddy Kruger !!! Jay catches me .. he pulls me to him please baby please don't run from me .. I'm sry. It's not really who I am .. it was just some fucked up Ness from her death .. I don't know . I just liked the control I had .. it was different. With you its love . I could not ever do anything to hurt u .. he's holding me so tight . Jay look at me ..you need some help . He says .. I'd do anything if ud take me back .. he walks up closer to me again. Baby please I'm not the monster ur looking at me like I am .. Jay I don't see u as mean hurtful .. but I can't trust this ...it's beyond anything I've heard of..
