We walk in the door of the cabin and we are completely alone .. just jay and I .. he's helping me get to the chair . I sit down .. I'm so numb . Just can't think .. jay says Keith has gone to pick up McKenna .. I burst into tears .. I'm sobbing jay hugs me to him so tight. I'm sry ..I'm so sry . This is all my fault . Jay says many times. .. I tell him I need to shower now .. move .. I say . He moves and I walk to the bedroom where him and I stay when we stay here .. I pull towels out the closet and turn to the mirror . I look so bad. .. like just beat up .. I take my clothes off slowly and see bruises all over my arms legs .. like I have been beat to a pulp.. I'm in shock .. I have a bruise on my chin .. wtf? Who beat me ? I remember falling a few times .. I remember tosha and I running around .. I just look like I was in an accident. Jay walks in ..he says omg .. baby .. I look up . He says come here ..he's holding me naked I'm naked .. he's kisses my head twice and he's crying . Melanie I'm so sorry. I mean it . I'm .. I'm .. he's crying so hard. ..I'm just standing here with numb tears rolling down my face .. jay says I love you .. I swear I do I love you .. I push back from him and walk into the shower . I close the door behind me .. I lean my head back in the water and hope to wash away this feeling of lost ness. This water feels so good. . I wash my hair and bath my sore body.. I stand there for about 30 mins. I turn the water off .. I step out the shower and see my bed clothes laid out on the bed .. I hear a knock on the bedroom door . It's open I say.. in my scraggly voice .. Bea steps in the room .. hey I'm hear to tell you that Keith went to pick up Kenna .but he stayed at zares he will be here at noon tomorrow with her Tammie has packed up all that Kenna will need here . And MA and I will be here to help with her.. I'm dresses when she stops talking .. I look up at her and ask . Did u know jay was seeing her ? She says yes.. I say get out . Mel.. it wasn't my business. I love both of u .and I didn't know till last mon. Please leave .I say . She's crying . I'm not ! Go ! She leaves and Jay is back immediately. Hey what's going on why is Bea crying . Because she knew about you and that whore and didn't tell me .. she out of my life too. Jay says your angry baby and you should be .but please don't make decisions u can't take back now .. let's just give this a few weeks ..and we can think all this over . I'll be in Italy by then . I say jay stands up ..what ? I'm leaving you jay . I'll see you in court . We can do the half the time with you half the time with me divorce parents thing.. I've said everything in this death tone voice so solemn. . I don't even recognize myself . I can't feel anything . Nothing at all ..I just know I wanna go back to Italy and never see any of these people ever again. I walk past jay and walk to the kitchen ..i see Maria cooking .. I sit at the island and remember jay holding that whore.. on her island. I feel nothing ! Maria put a bowl of soup and a sandwich in front of me .. she fills a glass with lemonade and sets it next to my plate .. she says for McKenna .you need to be healthy ..and walks away . I eat the soup .. drink the lemonade. And walk outside . I light a cig. Numb .. that's it . I hear jay saying it's freezing put this on he's putting his coat on me .. I smoke and stand there looking at trees that once mezmerized. Me .. they hold nothing ... just numb.. jay is saying something. . I hear him talking but I don't know what he's said .. he says Melanie twice I look up at him not knowing anything .. he says come on. He takes me in the house .. I sit in the chair it's not my chair .. I just remember thinking it's not my chair .. I'd love to be in my chair .. when I wake I'm being spooned by Jason and there is a blanket on us .. he's holding me . Why? Why is he acting like we are together? I wanna go home .. I call Keith when I'm in the bed room .. he picks up hey sweetie how are u. I'm coming home today. So don't leave with McKenna .. stay there . He says Melanie u need to stay there doc.... i hang up ..
