While I'm sitting in the park looking very much the part of a very young immature no good mother who parties all night. My phone rings .. hello. Hey beautiful how are u. Hi Matt. I'm on I think. He laughs. I saw what. He says u had a very wild ride last night huh. I say what. He says ur fb... omg .. what did I post. I say Matt last night was a huge mistake. And I'm not real sure what is on fb or other social media. But wow. U didn't even wanna know me last night. He says tell me what's got u acting this way ? I say what do u mean ... he says well I know u and when u act out of ur character..it usually means something is so very wrong in ur life. Yeah well I guess I'm not adulting as well as everyone expected me to. I laugh. Matt laughs. He says yeah sometimes it takes it toll on us and we just have to let loose ... yeah I agree. But Matt I'm better then this. ..I'm a good mom. I say as I catch Kenna from jumping off the tower .. ugh. Matt says melanie ur a great mother. And person. Let ur self off the hook girl. U can go buck ass crazy for one night.. he's laughing. I wish u could have been here to watch me and keep me in line. Matt says I wish I could have been there too baby doll... ugh. Why does Matt have to be such a food guy. I miss u so much. I tell him .. he says don't..I'd be on the next flight. . I say I wish sometime u hadn't have left. .. he says yea me too. I say Matt I'm so sorry I have to get the girls and go feed them some lunch. Can I call u later .. he says yes please do .. I say. Matt. I love you. He don't speak for a min... I hear his voice crank. He says I love you too melanie. He means it.
I'm sitting at this cute Lil diner with the girls and we are having lunch. I'm starving so it's so good .. we are on the patio of this place. It's warm outside. Kenna says mommy it's daddy friend. I look up and see Erica.. she's all smiling. Wearing this suit type outfit with heels ... she walks up and wiggles her fingers at Kenna. Hey cutie .. Kenna says hi .. sissy says hi .. Erica says I didn't know own u had a kid before Jason... early ... I say this is my niece .. Oh. She says. Well then.. she says well it was fun seeing Jason last night. I told u the K I D ... wouldn't change anything. Yall fight and he is there every time .. as she went to walk on I stuck my foot out she fell flat on her face !!! I laughed till I cried. Sissy said bam .. I laugh again. We leave this place .. when we get back to the cabin. Jay is sleeping on the love sac... Kenna jumps on him and wakes up. I say I need u to watch the girls for a while .. he looks up at me. Question face ... I say I just need to go somewhere. Can u get up and watch them .. he says yes. I leave .. I stop at sb tall caramel mocha.. when I park the car ..I sit there and look around. Yes I think ... I walk down the line of beautiful trees. The last time I saw these they were covered in ice and snow. It was a gorgeous frozen Wonderland. Keith and I walked and talked .. as I'm walking I'm think so hard. I don't think I even see the trees or the squirrel that was way too close. I skip past it quick. And laugh at my self. .. I sit down on a bench and drink my coffee. And think. I've got some major decisions to make. .. and very quick too. I walk some more. And wish I had my play ground in frayser right now. When I realize it getting dark I walk back to my car .. I had talked to my baby a few times sense I have been here. And now I find myself driving this curve to see the ditch. I have been here sense that happen. I remember her house was right there I look up and see it..
When I walk in the house Kenna runs to me ..mommy !! I catch her . Sissy says Jay left he said he'd be back later .. I say oh. Who's watching u guys. Maria says I am. She made dinner .. thank you Maria. She says it's OK. The girls wanted fish and chips. I say yay !! I put them in the seat at the island. They eat .. I don't eat sea food .. I ask Maria will u please watch them ..she says yes hun.. I walk to the bedroom and start to pack.. after two hours I have my suv packed down. And the girls are ready to go. I've made them there comfy spots in the car .. I tell Maria buy. And I get in the car. Sissy says are we leaving Jay? I say he will home soon. .. let's beat him. I laugh. With tears in my eyes .. they say ya.its a game to them. And him too. I punch in the address in GPS and I pull out the drive way. I stop and get more coffee. And Oppenheimer water bottles for me and the girls. I got them some cookies . And I started a movie. They will watch home ...on the way home .. when I'm two hours from home. I get a phone call. It's 11pm. I hit the button on the steering wheel.. hello. Jay says where are u ? The girls are a sleep don't yell. . Where are u ? According to GPS 1 hour and 47 mins from home . Click ! Hello. ? I smile. Fuck him .. by the time he gets home I'll be gone ..
I stop at my sisters house to drop off sissy. I give them 20 bags of her stuff I kiss her and hug . But tear up I gotta go. My sister looks at me like what? I'll call u .. I drive another 30 mins straight to my house .. I lift Kenna from her car seat and walk in my house I haven't seen in 3 weeks .. I lay Kenna on the couch. I call Sam. Please come over my house. He's here in 10 mins. Mean while I call Keith. I needed to know if Jay has left town yet. Keith says Jay is a sleep at his house drunk .. good. OK I can slow down. Keith will text me when he's on the way home .. great. Sam arrives and I bed him please just sit with Kenna while I unpack my car. While I'm unpacking my car I'm on the phone with the air port ... two first class tickets to ...
