The next Morning the room is filled with light. The sun is beaming threw the window sheers it beautiful. . I'm laying on my belly ,flat not even a pillow under my head. I feel Jay kissing my back feather light kisses , before I even open my eyes I'm smiling. he's got his hand on my ass rubbing very lightly I move my head just slightly down to see if I can see anything. Knowing full well he's kissing my back I won't be able to see this. I just wish I could. .. he moves up to my ear he whispers good morning my beautiful . I smile. He's kissing my ear . He says u look so gorgeous this morning I couldn't help it .. I'm really smiling . I lean up on my elbows and he lays down on the pillow.. right next to my arm. I lean down and kiss him he looks so dam good. Like so hot !! Makes me blush. Like this crazy sexy man is mine . Wow .. I'm smiling like a goon.. he says ur happy . I shake my head yes . Slowly. He says me too baby .. he kisses my arm I put my head down on my arms he says what's wrong ? I look at him. Jay I'm so sry I acted like a total mental patient last night .. he smiles .. it's not funny Jay I don't wanna be her. She's so like that. Just flip out and do what ever. I'm not that person. I won't be that person .. he says baby sometimes the people in ur life need to see how much ur hurting them. I just didn't know I was hurting u to that degree .. I'm sry for that .. yeah Jay but I've hurt u too .. and you didn't go off the deep end. .. Jay turns over away from me he says we should get up and go eat some breakfast .. . Jay ? He gets off the bed .. Jay I was talking to you. He says it 6am. Baby I have to get u to work by 8am. I wanna feed you. We are standing in the shower and Jay says baby I love you so much .. I look at him. Then tell me what that was about.. he says I want to but I can't right now .. we can talk about it tonight .. I say Jay just tell me . He says. Baby u need to go to work. .I promise you I'll pick u up from work today and I'll explain it all then ... should I be scared .. he says no. But I am .. Jay tell me now . No .I can't. But I will .. we get dressed and walk out the door. We stop at waffle house ,and I walk in the door of work at 8:02 Jeff looks up at me. . I tell him follow me . We go to the very back of this building to the time clock I show him my arms .. I say Jeff I had one hell of night .. can we not fight over 2 mjns.. please... he looks up at me from my arms .. he says OK .. I walk around him around get to work .. today he's showing me how to make lamb. Eww . But OK. . I've been tired all day .. and I feel sick .. like I wanna puke .. my nerves have been too shot. At 3pm I walk out to Jays car . I get in and I look around not him his face is sorta pale .. oh yeah he's gotta tell me something .. I kiss him and he hugs me tight. .. we turn down a different street on the way home I'm not sure where we are going. As we turn on the street to my old high school .. Jay says please just remember I love you and we are together now. .. I look at him he looks as sick as I've felt today. We pull in the back lot over to the park side. I'm looking in the floor . Jay says please baby .. I step out the car .i walk to the edge of the park my brain will always go straight to the merry go round .. when I see the destruction here ,the merry go round is completely off the base and pretty much in parts all over the ground. The swing are off .. the Lil animal rockers are off . It looks like a really bad storm came threw and just wiped it all out. .. I'm standing here feeling sad .. I look back at Jay he's looking at me waiting. And it took me a minute to makes sense of this ... I look at the park again. I think how could u take this from me , this is my place .. this is the one place .. the pain. Of this makes me fall to my knees on the edge of the grass.. hands on face .. I'm devastated. Jay did this !!!
