Jay turned the light off but left the door open , laid me down on the bed and crawled on the bed beside me . He is kissing me so sweetly and rubbing my belly. I immediately think he's gonna take my clothes off and I cringe , what will he think. I haven't even been naked in front of him .. I'm worried .. he pulls my shirt up and says sit up baby .. I sit up . He takes my shirt off and unhooked my bra and slid it off. He lays me back and and reaches for my pants .. he stops and looks at me. I can see his face from the hall light .. he says I love you. So softly I feel it tho. He means it . I whisper I love you too. .. when I'm naked he stands up off the bed and takes his clothes off. But he's not exactly ready. .. he crawls back on the bed and lays beside me he starts the S shapes on my belly and I feel emotional he hasn't done that in so long. He use to do this in the beginning of our relationship to comfort me to take his time . He says I'm sry baby I never wanted u to feel I don't want you. I've wanted you so bad . I just been so scared of this moment. . He seems scared . I say it's OK Jay. I promise. He shakes his head yes.. he's still rubbing my belly and kissing me .. he is breathing a Lil harder .. I run my hand down his abs and he takes in air threw his teeth . And I lean my head back. That sound works every time .. he's hovering over the dip .. I need him to do this so bad .. please. . He says u really want me to.. I say yes please .. he pushes in just a Lil and I lean my head back even harder .. he whispers don't let me hurt you. I shake my head no .. he does it again a Lil deeper and I feel myself falling apart .. he moves his hand down .. I want him to go in so bad I hold him so tight. My nails in his back .. he says say yes baby. I say yes he pushes in and omg!!! Ppssshhhh. Like flood gates.. everywhere . He is giving this his very best skills and I'm close .. very close . I grip his arm and lean way back. .bliss .. pure bliss. I convulsed so hard . Jay is whispering in my ear. . Omg baby. I love you so much. You really really did need me .. I shake my head yes when I have come back to reality. He rolls over on top of me and waits he says u OK ? I say yes. He whispers u want me .. I whisper yes please . He's in so slowly .. he's barely moving. He whispers I've missed you so much baby .. I say I've missed you too. We know this is so right .. and so us . Just as Jay is spent I hear McKenna ... oh shit I fly up off the bed wrap my robe around me and run i wash my hands and grab a towel .. I stand over her cradle talking to her as I dry my hands .. she looks up at me with her sad lip .. Omg . This girl has me so wrapped .. I pick her up and say I'm sry baby girl ..mommy loves u. Jay walks in the living room drying his hands and says I'll get her bottle. He places it in the warmer and says lemme see her ..I hand him his daughter . He says it's OK my baby girl .. he's kissing her cheeks. She's got her sad lip out . He Says U Look Like UR Momma . I smile . I tell McKenna what ever works baby girl .. Jay smiles up at me .. he says every time .. he's feeding our baby . I walk to the shower and turn it on .. I definitely need a shower after tonight's event !!! A huge mess!!! So worth it tho . I'm washing my hair when jay says hey baby what do u want her to wear to bed. ..she needs to be changed out if this out fit .. I'll get her just give me a min. I want to give her a bath too. I say .. he says OK . After I'm clean. I step in the tub and turn it on. Jay lays McKenna in my arms and he runs to get all her soap and rag and her towel. I let the water run over her. I talk to her and she smiles. . Jay is back he's watching his daughter .. he says oh no the water bill is gonna double she loves the water as much as her momma . I smile at him. He hands me the rag and pours the baby soap on it . I bath McKenna and she is falling a sleep . Jay says definitely like her momma .. I say but looks like her daddy. He says everyone is saying that now ..he smiles so big. I rinse our daughter and she opens her eyes. Jay says hey beautiful. She smiles so big I just saw Jays heart grow 3 times bigger .
Sitting in my chair holding my baby girl she clean warm and content .oh so content . This is bonding . Shes my whole world.
